Addicted to Healing: When Spiritual Work Keeps You Stuck with Byron and Michael

0:00 Hello, welcome back to the podcast. This is Michael Henry here. And today we're going to be talking about, well, the title's going to probably change, but something related to the addiction of healing or the addiction of kind of looking in and pulling out all the cords and stripping away and just, you know, trying to fix everything.

0:21 And not only that, but I'm not alone. We have formerly known as Satya Rishi in the house. Byron is with us again. So we're going to be deconstructing this topic and breaking it down a little bit. So before we kind of get into that, I just thought I'd plug something in here if you are new to the podcast or you have been a regular listener. Really appreciate your support if you could. Yeah, just go down to Apple Podcasts or Spotify or whatever podcast platform you use and

0:51 just find that star review and just give us some love. That's going to be a great way for us to be able to reach more people and share this podcast with as many people as possible. So thank you for that. Otherwise, for today's episode, like I said, we're going to talk about addiction to healing or something along those lines. Now, in this world of yoga, there is the element of healing or the element of, you know, introspection, finding things within ourselves and, you know,

1:19 shedding layers, if you will. We talk about some scaras, some scaras or mental impressions, things in which, you know, some people call them traumas. But ultimately, we're trying to or people want that desire to kind of remove or, or get rid of as many of those things as possible and ultimately trying to seek some sort of sense of peace.

1:39 And the question is, is, you know, when does it become enough or not enough for when do you stop or when do you keep going? And like, you know, how big, how, how deep do you dig? And there's just a lot of things that we can talk about here.

1:50 So, thinking about this topic in general, Byron, first of all, welcome. Thank you very much. And I don't know if you want to say anything at all, but otherwise, yeah. What do you think about this topic overall? Well, I think, you know, there's a way to look at it through maturity and the lens of, you know, our professions and what we've seen out there.

2:09 And there's also just a way to just fucking call people out and just even ourselves in certain times is, you know, just as an unhealthy pattern is that that can repeat itself over and over, you know, where you just kind of get stuck in the the metaphorical washing machine over and over and over again of, of something. I think this podcast episode is, is more about just addiction in general to to understand that and then to put that framework over healing.

2:44 Yeah, like you said. OK, cool. So then let's just go into some simple breakdown definition since you are much of A wordsmith. Thinking of the word addiction, I also saw a word, another word that might not necessarily an exact synonym, but habit, something that we want to do a lot of would be, I'd say the thread through for both of those.

3:04 I would say that a word addiction itself might have a little bit of a negative connotation associated to it because people might think addiction to some sort of bad thing. You know, it's too much like addiction might mean too much of something.

3:18 And then habit isn't necessarily seen as a negative. I would say habit might actually seem more on like the positive side, like, oh, I want to develop good habit versus bad habit, and a bad habit might be an addiction, possibly.

3:31 So just wanted to kind of create that similar language of those words there. But I would say that a lot of people probably don't feel like they have an addiction, but I would say everybody does. They might just not call it an addiction. True.

3:45 True on the everyone has one for sure. And I would say one of them that's probably pretty universal nowadays is using a phone, a phone and what the phone does to the body and the nervous system. Sometimes I think about the phone. I'm just like, wow, like if you took away the phone from us, me, what would I do, right?

4:07 It was just, you know, I hate to say that to public national audience here, but it's true. And it's hard to imagine life without that device. It's so crucial to so many things nowadays that it it's creating that addiction and yeah, and so many different things to like, you know, whether it's supplements or foods or, you know, dopamine hits in different ways. Sometimes that comes through substances. It can also come through just love bombing and, you know, needing to be complimented and,

4:44 you know, just we get addicted. I think we're just without awareness. We don't really know. We just accept that as who we are and the ego absorbs it. It's like that's. Just who I. Am this is what I do and. Until you slow.

4:57 Down enough to feel, to be aware, and to discern. Hopefully to discern and not to feed the ego even deeper, not to judge, you know, good or bad and to be shame yourself into anything, but to look at it and be like, oh, is this serving me?

5:14 Is this habit or is this an addiction? And then from there we get to break free if we want to little by little or all at once. And that can be a painful process. But I think backtracking just a little bit into addiction and like where that comes from is important. Where does addiction come from?

5:37 It's very interesting to think about and the studies suggest that it comes from. What do you think? I mean, I have an idea, do you want me to share it? Pain. Yeah, I was going to say avoidance. This something disconnection and pain, which you could say avoidance is some sort of disconnection. So yeah, pain and and disconnection, we feel that avoidance is the words.

6:08 We feel that void, right, With something that helps us feel more connected or less pain or let's use the word whole. It makes you feel whole. So an addiction from now, our newly framed definition is a lack of wholeness. Is, is, is is one way to look at it.

6:29 And now an addiction is born, born. And there can be a dependency there. It's not just mental. It can be an actual physical dependency. Yeah, I just think starting there is a very important piece of the puzzle. Yeah, I think it's really good. I mean, personally, when I think of addiction, I mean, we were talking about relating it to healing, and we'll definitely get to that.

6:50 But I think sugar is just like a simple, relatable one that most people can kind of connect to. Like, Yep, you know, sugar has a certain effect in the body chemically that releases, you know, dopamine and all this stuff and basically does a bunch of things to your hormones. But in itself, it is something that gives us pleasure, at least in a moment.

7:12 How about coffee? I know it's not one for you, but for me, I'm heavily addicted to coffee at the moment. Right and. Yeah, I'm not always, and I love the moments when I've weaned myself away from it, but I think of that too. It's like, even for me, worse than sugar. Yeah, and I think there's, I mean, you know, you can have an addiction to something that's, let's say not as, you know, ingesting chemical wise, like it's something that you're actually ingesting and you're

7:38 there's changes happening in your body. But like, you know, let's say video games or scrolling on the phone or like just picking up your phone and like, you know, whatever, just looking at apps or looking at Instagram or whatever the hell you're looking at.

7:49 And I'm sure there's other ones, but I think of the ingesting ones like coffee, sugar or whatever, sweets, something like that. The actual act of it can be the addicting, but there's also the actual chemical changes that sugar has an effect on your system.

8:03 Coffee has an effect on your system, which I would actually say might even double down on the effect or the the challenge of that addiction. But you know, I'm not gonna break this down too much chemistry wise 'cause I would imagine it's all related to the same thing, that dopamine hit and how it much that effect influences our desire for more of it. But I do know that with sugar, you definitely have some gut, you know, microbiome changes that now you are going to have bacteria in your gut that is

8:34 particularly going to crave more of that thing in addition to the dopamine hit. And I, you know, people say that sugar is one of the most addictive substances that exists. You know, you know, it's up there with like cocaine and heroin and whatever.

8:47 So just wanted to bring that into awareness. But you know, doesn't necessarily have to be just about that. I think a lot of it is the three line here is just the dopamine change of the shift that we get. Also the the mental dependency is is a thing too.

9:01 Like so many people that smoke cigarettes, they don't miss the nicotine as much as they do the act of holding that cigarette. Or so they say. So they say, but also coffee can be like that, you know, you can replace you just need to drink something, need to sip something to.

9:17 So I think the mental, to me that's a mental attachment that's that's taking place and it's like the Pavlov. Yeah, it's like a habit. At this point, we're talking about the habit of the addiction. Yeah, it's like the Pavlov experiment.

9:31 Experiment where the dog hears the bell and it salivates. Yeah, because it's it's conditioned now it knows that once I have that morning cigarette, like this chain of events will take place. I might feel peace. I might feel this emotion. I might my morning bathroom routine, whatever kind of comes into the order.

9:49 You're like, without that I can't even imagine the day happening. Yeah, there's a certain level of familiarity that comes with that habit or that that, you know, thing that we do regularly and that familiarity, familiarity has an impact on our nervous system's comfort level, right.

10:05 When things are familiar and not new, habitually they feel more in that parasympathetic, like, OK, cool, I don't have this like fear fight or fight response that might kind of kick in sympathetic response. So just bringing awareness to that. And then turning it into what we started this episode by mentioning, which is the healing paradigm. The healing paradigm, which includes what? Breath work, yoga, cathartic releases, somatics, plant medicine, somatic, whatever you

10:40 want to call somatics, could be cathartic releases. What else can you put there? There's so many things certain, like not necessarily body works, but you could include like massage, you know, sauna tissue. Yeah, exactly.

10:54 Anything that's kind of like physically doing something to your body and making change, you know, even yoga, being addicted to that, the feeling of yoga, which not might not necessarily be a bad thing, but you know, too much in anything that is in excess, it might not be good depending on the context.

11:12 True. So yeah, that's what I think about. Yep. So as we go into a deeper conversation about that and we look and we remember back to a few minutes ago when we said that addiction comes from pain and disconnection or avoidance.

11:31 Then you start to look at if you are having there is an addiction that you know, you are kind of stuck in the spin cycle of the healing paradigm. Now we live in Ubud Bali, which is, is a very, it's a Mecca. It's a Mecca for, for all types of healing. I mean a bud or Ubud, a bud.

11:51 Technically that word in Bolognese means healing, healing and medicine. So we are in the healing village of Bali, which is already known for healing. And so, so many people across the world, whether they are called here subconsciously or they actually consciously come here for that, that's what they're here for.

12:08 And so they, they're trying out all the things. You know, so many of these people are coming through the yoga barn classes and trying them out and asking me about the shamans and asking me about, and who's the best healer I can go to. Or they're just there, or they're just grabbing onto the, the fat, the closest thing they can because they're only here for a few days.

12:27 Or maybe they're, maybe they're here longer in a month. But you start to see this pattern in this archetype start to reveal itself through this. And I, I don't want to say everybody's the same. By no means is anyone the same.

12:41 But you do see the patterns arise where they're just, they're just kind of stuck in this, like this one thing I'm doing breath work today or not tomorrow I got somatics. Now I'm going to this like kundalini activation thing.

12:52 Well, now I'm going to go to this family systems, internal family assistance thing. By the way, do you know a good hypnotherapist? And I'm just like, wow, yeah, so much. Now, some of these people, to be fair, they're only here for a short amount of time.

13:06 So they're trying to get, you know, it's like being in, you know, a place where the best candy is in the world. Yeah, you're like Disneyland. Like, I want to ride every single ride. Yeah. So I got to get in there. But then you also see people who are here for quite a while and they still are doing that as well. And so I'm going to do, I do want to speak to that nature of what is that pain, what is happening. If you are constantly seeking something like that to make yourself whole, maybe that's not

13:40 the way you look at it until unless you were to slow down to me, there's a deeper program that's running that deeper program that programming is saying I am broken. I am broken and I need to be fixed. This is a very dangerous program to run because it doesn't matter how many of those things you go through, if that program isn't erased or reprogrammed, upgraded, updated, then I believe you will just continue that cycle.

14:14 Nothing will ever be good enough because you're broken and you're looking for something to fix you that's outside of you. Well, the story is that I'm broken. Yeah, I am broken. And this is such a painful story in its own. So that pain will just keep coming back. It'll keep the residue from that story is too powerful. It's so ingrained.

14:35 It's so conditioned within someone's psyche that no matter how much breath work you do, you might have yourself a beautiful release. You might have yourself a cathartic shift where your life is just completely shifted upside down and you feel all these beautiful emotions.

14:52 And maybe from that, maybe you've opened up to the point where maybe enough love can be received. Maybe you can see that sunset or that that you know. See through a lens of of beauty more and and take in more, let's say less distortion and more truth.

15:10 Maybe that is going to happen. Maybe that's. Possible. You can slowly chip away at that story to where you realize that you are already whole. But if you don't, then it's just going to keep repeating itself over and over and over again. And thus lies the addiction that. Lies the addiction.

15:29 Which is a never ending cycle of yeah when? How does it stop exactly? Well, how does it stop? Is is this thing that I from my experience, something that I can speak from and I see some people that would probably benefit from implementing this. It's this word called gentleness, being gentle and being gentle and not talking about like how you like might touch something, you know, gently. But I am also, you know, I'm talking about how you how you treat yourself, how you speak to

16:09 yourself. And gentleness to me is it's something that one of my old mentors always used to talk about gentleness, gentleness, gentleness. And it's not like it hit me immediately. It took years for it to really settle in.

16:23 I had another mentor, by the way, who was saying don't ever be gentle, never be gentle. And it was funny, you know, I was like kind of having to play with this in my own mind, Like what is gentle and what's not? And why is this person think it's one thing and this other thing?

16:37 Do they think it's the same thing? But essentially it's like how you talk to yourself. Like do you love yourself? Do you love yourself? If you really truly love yourself, you'll be gentle. Now you can be gentle but firm, you know, and have boundaries, but still be gentle. But if you have any tinge of, of you know, like tinge means like there's, it's like there's something seeping through that's not like a, a love vibration for yourself. That's like you're a fuck up,

17:10 you're a mess up, you're broken. If there's any tinge of that when you, when you are doing that self talk, it doesn't, it doesn't reprogram that brokenness, it feeds it. You become more broken from it because you are essentially a frequency. You know you are vibrating, your words have energy behind them, and even if you're not verbally outright saying it, you're thinking it, which might be even worse because you're not actually able to hear yourself

17:40 say the thing that you're thinking. So then it perpetuates itself and you start to get all kinds of convoluted and confused because our minds are not designed to be so overstimulated. So you, in my opinion, we should be expressing all this.

17:56 So whether you have a journaling practice to really see what your thoughts are doing in order of some sort of stream that they can come out and movements great you can express. Yourself through movements. Therapy. This is why a lot of people like therapy.

18:11 I, you know, so just hire a therapist. It's not just working with the mind, but you know, it's definitely helpful. Anyways, I saw you writing something down over there. Yeah, just a couple little thoughts. You said a lot of good things and I didn't want to distract from it.

18:27 Yeah. Being kind to yourself in the story of not being enough or not worthy enough for needing to to show worth or feel validated of being enough for something to that effect. I feel it's just, it's all under the surface of all this stuff. And I think about an exercise that the Jeff who he's not probably the only one that has done this before, but I've heard him say, you know, I just want you to go home and write down 100 things about yourself that

18:57 you love and that's your homework. And that I know that just, you know, if you're listening to this, think about doing that. Just the thought of doing that might not, you might already have some resistance like that sounds like a hard exercise, right?

19:13 So if you're feeling that like this is it sounds like a hard exercise, then that might just give you a little bit of a pulse on where you are with your view of yourself, right. Maybe you're thinking, Oh, I can probably do like 50, maybe 20 a hundred, like fuck, that's not very many.

19:29 Oh, sorry, that is a lot. But it's like, you know, how kind are you to yourself? Do you give moments to actually acknowledge the things that are beautiful about yourself? Or is it always looking at the things that need to be quote UN quote fixed or the things that are broken?

19:44 And look, I mean, I have a lot of compassion for this overall perspective of the world because the world in which we live in, there's a lot of focus on what's wrong, fixing things, highlighting the things that are wrong.

19:59 I mean, just the overall school system in general. You know, I don't want to talk globally, but I would say overall, there's a lot of, at least in my experience, first world ish countries are having this. Like, you know, you come to school, you learn things, but you're also being disciplined in such a way to highlight whenever things are not correct or wrong. And here's the red pen and let me like write all those things and you're being evaluated on

20:22 what how good you are basically. So it's like all that stuff's just being imprinted in us in a lifestyle way. And also generationally, I'm sure it's just being passed on as well. So a lot of compassion there. Like it's super difficult to kind of navigate that.

20:35 But also talking about it like we are now is, is what helps to bring light to it, which allows to bring this consciousness to the conversation. So that was the first thing I thought about. And if that's an exercise that you have not done before, I think I've done it or I've tried to do it and I think I got past like the 50 mark and then I think I got distracted by something else.

20:55 But anyway, I would implore you if that's something that you want to do, that's a nice little thing, right? If you're looking about healing yourself, heal yourself through a pen and paper and write down all the things that you love about yourself that you're grateful for, the things that you have, not the things that you don't have.

21:10 And then the other things that I thought about was just the context of a himsa non violence, which is basically as we feel these or have these beliefs about ourselves, that is violence towards ourselves, whether through you, through words, thoughts, emotions on how we feel about ourselves.

21:30 And that's the first Yama, how do you feel about yourself? And if it is that exercise of writing down 100 things seems challenging, then maybe that's just the starting point there. And then I go, you know, jump into some of the niyamas and the next one would be Svadia. Yeah, which is all about self study and looking in and being like, oh what, how am I the like, why am I doing the things that I'm doing and why is this happening? And that's great.

21:55 But too much of that might result in some of this like self deprecated, like judgment or evaluation. So, you know, there's a balance between the two and just bringing awareness to it is kind of what I wanted to at least highlight. Yeah, a lot of good stuff you're saying there, and I'll see what I can kind of come up with from that. So I what I heard you say with the world and the, the, the schools, you know, education or whatever you brought up there, it's like, you know, this is a

22:25 podcast where we attract a lot of yoga people, people who are teachers, people who are interested in personal development, people who are interested in emotional intelligence, all this stuff. I'm like the, the, the Satya Rishi than me. The truth seeker in me is just like, yeah, the reality is like, I don't like to bypass anything.

22:45 And like the, the truth, one of the truths I believe, and this is a this is a truth for a lot of people, is that the world is harsh. The world is so harsh and it creates pain. From the moment most of us are born, we are being fed some sort of story that is perpetuating a mental imprint, or mental samskara, as yoga would call it.

23:09 Patterns that are causing pain and disconnection. They're causing pain and disconnection. You're not good enough. The story of you could do better or why aren't you getting better grades than Billy? And whatever the case is, like, beat your opponent at this sport. And I love sports, but that's an experience that a lot of us have.

23:34 And if you are rooting that, you know, if you're you're taught to compete in a healthy way, that's one thing. But if you're not taught that, then you may just be trying to earn the praise and the love of whoever it is, your coach, your family, your parents, whatever it is.

23:50 And so then you'd at all costs, you want to earn that love and that you're secretly rooting on other people's failures when you are trying to win something. And this is like, you know, it's a, it's a whole podcast in its own to be honest, but it, it feeds into this whole addiction thing where addiction comes from that void of pain and disconnection.

24:14 There's the pain in the disconnection. We've, we've found one of the biggest ones. It happens early on and oftentimes it never gets confronted and looked at because it continues the, the grown-ups when we were young, we call them grown-ups.

24:27 Eventually we call ourselves adults and they don't, they don't really untie the knots unless they do. And some people move to Bali and decided to go crazy with it because they're like, I've got so many knots. I'm but that program of I am broken doesn't really get looked at. Now that's what I love about yoga. Yoga has this lens of looking at things from universal or a perspective of we, we are whole.

24:53 We are perfect by nature in some ways. If you can empty yourself out, the intelligence of your body, energetically, mind, body, connection, call it all the layers, all the coaches together, they know what to do. All you got to do is just let go and surrender.

25:15 Just let go. And then the intelligence organizes itself for the greater good and you have more whatever you want to call it, more peace, more love. Maybe more understanding, maybe not, but you're more clear. So all of that, you know, kind of came up when you were talking about the school systems. But then what else came up kind of pivoting slightly is when we're talking about these people who are all over the world really, but in a boot, for example, that get stuck in the spin cycle and they're just

25:48 healing and healing got the breath work today. It just happened to my friend a couple days ago. This person I met and pretty recently, but I called him my friend. They're here for not too long and they they took a breath, breath, breath work session probably when they weren't ready for it.

26:04 They've been doing yoga like crazy. They don't do a lot of yoga and that breath thing made him sick. They overdid it and now they're sick. Now something, and I'm channelling a bit of our our friend Paul here, but. I wrote.

26:19 I wrote Paul's name. Over here, I think it's necessary, absolutely. I think we should, yeah. The masculine nature, you know, of, of sometimes we need to remove our emotions from things and we need to move forward and whether that's making a commitment, you know, whether that is doing what you say you're going to do.

26:44 I don't think forward, just moving forward without a pure intention is, is a foolproof way to let's say sustainable might be a better word, but some way to like proceed forward with your life that's going to clean you out from the inside.

27:03 I do think your intention, son culpa determination, but to set that intention so deeply that it's unbreakable. It's so important to you that you're determined to follow through with it so that you can recall these intentions and and then move forward with masculine energy, right?

27:24 So in the feminine, I would consider that being like quite a healing energy of just feel process, kind of go through all of that. Let the Shakti energy rise within you. Meanwhile, there's that part of us that's more the Shiva part, which can set boundaries, can break patterns, can just sit and stillness, you know, and let's say shift suffering, you know, just by our willpower.

27:54 And I think that's what I'm saying by the masculine. I'm just using that word. Masculine is a little more of a role where Shiva's more ingrained within many, many centuries of. Of study so commitment comes to mind integrity that go energy. And sometimes if you're in that spin cycle, I think it's important to acknowledge that type of energy and how powerful it is because this is a balancing act regardless of who you are.

28:25 It's all about balance. I just went on a went on a tangent. Yeah. It was good, yeah. Letting letting that integrate a little bit. Well, that's the word. I got right there is integration is the thing I didn't speak to that I wrote down because of all of this.

28:40 Where does the integration happen if you're constantly doing this, constantly on the next thing, constantly on the next? If I constantly just talk like this and I just kept on talking like this and I kept on talking like this, and I mean, pretty soon you'd just turn off the podcast. But things have to integrate.

28:58 That's why we pause between sentences. That's why we don't do 8 breath breath work sessions in a row or 8 yoga classes in a row. Or if you do, where's the integration? You got to ask yourself that. Yep. So I wrote down a few things and just to kind of give some different perspective on it, just thinking about exercising in general, whether it be going to the gym or going for a run or playing a sport, you can't do it every day either. You need time to recover.

29:30 Call it integration, call it recovering, call it healing, call it like regaining energy, whatever the hell you want. The point is, is there's still a recovery period. So I would say similarly, like if there's too much of anything, you need time to integrate. And that's, you know, the word integration I feel is used a lot in this kind of world of yoga.

29:49 Like what does it actually mean to me? It's recovery to me. It's time for your body to reorganize itself. Not like physically. Well, yes, that is true and a lot of the physical practices, but sometimes it's just energetically.

30:01 And if that doesn't speak to you when I say energetically rearranging, just trust that your nervous system is Electro magnetically rearranging itself. Pathways are shifting, meridians, energy lines, all this stuff is kind of moving blood flow, whatever type of science resonates with you.

30:18 But there's shifting that needs to happen and it doesn't happen in the moment of the actual practice. It happens after the practice. Just like when you exercise and you're going to the gym. You don't build the strength when you're at the gym, you build the strength after during the recovery. Your body actually, to give a simple little statistic, you actually burn more calories after a workout than you do during the workout while you're actually in the recovery process.

30:43 So just something to kind of relate this in a different way, but we're still talking about the same thing. So that's one thing. Because if your system kind of gets overloaded, like too much exercise, then you end up your immune system starts to lower. All these things happen.

30:58 And that's when you end up possibly getting injured. Or in the context of healing, you might actually get sick. Because now your system might not be able to handle all of the stuff that's going through because it needs time to work through it, to shift and move things around and whatever.

31:11 And that takes a lot of energy to just do that. Hey, that makes me think of the addiction. It's all tied together, you know, whether it's scrolling cell phone, the addiction, it's a non integration. In some ways it's like to avoid integration like like the avoidance is like I'm I'm so addicted to just doing something to activity is oftentimes it that the integration step gets bypassed. Yeah.

31:47 So if you're listening still, let yourself let this land. Don't just load up another podcast unless it's one of ours. Just kidding. But regardless, it's it's. It you can. You can put that on anything. Let things digest. And the really the last thing that I have on this is, is the first thing one of the first things I brought up. Well, I don't know if it's the first thing, but I, when I talked about being gentle, I, I have these like moments of remembering like when I slow

32:23 down enough and when I shift into gentleness. Sometimes I, I just associate gentle and slow together for some reason. So if I slow down enough and I'm gentle, to me, I'm looking at this like a frequency. There's some sort of vibrational frequency.

32:42 And that's actually the medicine that is needed for the shift to happen, for acceptance to be realized. It is the slowing down that makes gentleness possible. You can think about gentleness all day, but it doesn't actually land. Gentleness itself needs integration. So it's like 1 of someone I've respect once said that the fastest way to get where I want to go is to slow down. The fastest way to get to where I want to go is to slow down. That's magic right there.

33:30 So we're all, what are we all trying to do and what are we really trying to do? And if you do actually slow down without the, the pressure that might be felt for I got to do this. Oh my, I can't slow down. I got to do this. But if you.

33:44 Truly slow down, as if time didn't exist. And we've all had moments where we have slowed down and enjoyed the present moment so deeply. Such a juicy, powerful, potent moment of slowing down where you don't care about time.

33:57 All of a sudden, whatever you had to do to isn't important anymore. But if you just can hit those moments of when you slow down intentionally, then that gentleness, it sets in. And that gentleness is a vibration. It's not just a word.

34:12 That vibration of gentleness is the opposite of disconnection. It is connection, and that connection is leading to acceptance, and that acceptance is leading to rewiring the old story of I Am Broken. Boom. That would drop the mic, but it's attached to this.

34:34 I'm glad I don't want you to break my mic, but did that land? Give some time for that to land. I'm sure a few people. Listen to that and they're like, wow. And other people are like. What the fuck is this guy talking about again? Yeah, or they were checked out because they were working out they're.

34:52 Scrolling on their phone. Driving on the car and they're not listening. Hey, listen to us. Listen, listen, listen to this right now. Listen to me. Look at me. Great. So, yeah, the the other thing that I want to share before we kind of wrap this up, and this is something that I kind of apply to my own healing practice, the way that I heal. And that is addressing the thing that's coming up, the thing that's alive or the thing that's like, or what I would call real time, real time healing.

35:20 As opposed to just like I'm just going to dig and dig and dig and dig and dig and dig. How about let's like look at the thing that's actually showing and revealing itself. Now you need to have a certain amount of slowness, presence to be able to even notice the thing that's showing up.

35:36 And maybe that thing that's showing up is the thing that needs to be addressed. Or maybe there's nothing that actually needs to be addressed in this particular moment. And then you just live life and enjoy it because I mean, what's the point of all the healing? It's probably to enjoy life.

35:48 So there's got to be moments where you're enjoying it. So the slowing down allows that for me, the opportunity to to see like when things, when I'm enjoying life and things are going well, this is great. When things are not going well, then maybe there's something there that needs to be looked at. I'm triggered by something or I'm feeling really stressed out or I have too much going on.

36:10 It's like, OK, maybe I should stop and look at that. Like, why? What is it? And maybe in that moment is part of the healing. Maybe I need to like figure out what I need to do about that particular thing. So that's what I think about with real time healing. But also at the same time to bring in a bit of that Paul energy.

36:25 You know, every time something comes up, you don't want to just be like, stop the world and be like, OK, I got to look at this thing because that's not how we can operate in this material world. You still need to deal with your responsibilities, take care of business, work, family, whatever it is. That being said, you still, you can still have an opportunity to not forget about those things or not ignore those things. So as you're moving through life, these things come up and then, you know, what I like to

36:52 do sometimes is write them down like, and even if I don't know what it is like, ah, today was stressful or today I felt like this or this thing happened and whatever. And I just write it down and I put it out of my mind a little bit and then I focus on my responsibilities, whatever it might be. And then I eventually come back and look at that and be like, OK, so this is my healing.

37:10 What does this tell me? You know, like, sure, I can go talk to a therapist. Sure, I can go like, you don't do semantics and breath work and all this stuff. Or I can just sit and actually like self study. Like why did that bother me? Sit in meditation and feel what it is. Maybe I need to slow down.

37:26 Maybe I need to not take on so much stuff. Maybe I need to make create more boundaries here. Maybe I need to not say yes to that thing that everyone wants me to do. Maybe I need to take a day off. Maybe I do need to go talk to a therapist, right?

37:38 The actual solution to the healing might not be the first step. It's more so just looking and being like, OK, what is the thing when you have time to actually look at it? And if not, then that's fine. You can continue on with life. But if you continue on with life and then you don't look at that thing, then that can pile up and build into stress. And then it feels overwhelming.

37:58 And then you're at a stage where it's like, now I feel like I need to heal everything because there's so much going on. I feel like I have so many ties and all these things that are kind of holding me down. And it's like, yeah, probably because you've you've been ignoring them for so long possibly that you feel like you need to get rid of them all so quickly. And this kind of reminds me a little bit of whenever people come to see me for their physical ailments and they're like, oh, I've had this problem

38:22 for, I don't know why I always get the chronic people, but four years, 15 years, 20 years, and then they come and see me and they're like, OK, cool, you're going to fix me, right? I'm like, well, I'm going to definitely send you on your way.

38:34 But also recognize that if you've had this for this long, I can't just snap my fingers and you're good. It's going to take a process of time to work through it. And just like anything else that comes through or it reveals itself, it's a real time healing.

38:50 OK, Yeah, you work on it, but also you got to continue on. You can't just fix it in that moment and be like, OK, now I got to fix the next thing and fix the next thing. You deal with whatever kind of pain or ailment or thing, restriction or thing that's challenging your nervous system or triggering you, and you try to give it attention so that it doesn't compound like interest into your system and build these samskaras or this stress in cortisol and chemistry that just

39:16 feels like life is difficult. So yeah, when things come up, have a look at them. When they're not always coming up, you don't give it time. They'll show themselves. Right. Yeah, made me think of one more thing. We still have a second.

39:33 Yeah, yeah, we can do it. So altered States and like when you were talking about slowing down, which I was talking about too. And I agree, like obviously, like I agree, the slowing down is such a huge component to awareness, that awareness allows you the opportunity to see is something coming up or not, should I do something or not.

39:55 However, a lot of people want to speed up and there's a lot of healing practices that speed up and it it creates an altered state, like Korea's the breath work, for example. Things that kind of speed up your system, so energy rises and then you you reach this altered state, this altered state that also substances also can create these altered States and then shifting can happen within these altered states.

40:25 So I just wanted to make that link to where the altered state. You can also alter your state without by by slowing down. It's kind of what I'm getting to by slowing down. You can also alter your state, but for some reason a lot of us want to go into the altered state through like a speeding up process, speeding up when because it's probably that that wiring is already conditioned within us to to to kind of want to run at that speed. Yeah.

40:58 So I just thought that was a really interesting link that came through when you were talking. Just to speak. To the yeah, to the altered states. I mean, the plant medicine is, there's tons of people who have had amazing experiences through plant medicine and changed their lives for the better.

41:15 There's tons of people who have gotten addicted to the plant medicine and gotten stuck in that spin cycle. And they've done like 25 ayahuasca. Regimes more and also given credit to the plant. Yeah, so giving credit to somebody else for your healing is also part of this, the pedestaling that can happen when you put somebody on a pedestal because the guru did it.

41:37 This person, I can't do it without this person. And that's a trap that I believe is probably coming from the I am Broken story. So if you can are constantly deflecting your experiences as you're not claiming them as your own, your own doing, then they're not going to last.

41:58 I'm here to tell you from my experience, at least now it's one thing to give respect and honor. That is beautiful. And I think that's kind of like a form of gratitude. Thank you for this experience and thank you for allowing me to see what I can do.

42:19 That is power. And then that power from within you is is not stupid. That power within you recognizes that you're giving credit to the source of where it really came from instead of somebody else. It's like, hey, look at me.

42:31 You don't see inside that I, you did this. Oh, my God, here we are again, just broken and then broken and broken. And then here we go a few days later, like, ah, give me some more of that plant. Yeah. Or whatever it is. Yeah, I usually say the things. Thank you for revealing yourself. I don't necessarily say those words, but I, I kind of like, for example, I'm not to get too much in the details, but a few years, few days ago, I had a bit of a shift. Something came up and I didn't

42:59 know what it was. And I had to do work to figure that out. But I also at the same time, I was, it was a little weird, but I was also like kind of like going into the state of gratitude and like, thank you for revealing this thing that I need to look at.

43:13 So having that kind of. And that's what makes me think about it. So, yeah, I mean, we're going to come to, we're going to come to an ending. Yeah, that's good. And what the, the interesting thing about the ending is that it makes me think about the healing. You know, you rush the healing, you try to get it all done. There isn't, there's never an ending, right? It never stops.

43:33 So why try to do it all? And if you try to do it all, you're, and Paul uses this analogy, it's like you're trying to exfoliate your skin and you're trying to make your skin as beautiful as possible and you're trying to do it all when the first like day or week. And it's like, what's going to happen if you try to do that? You're just going to RIP apart your entire body, right? You need to allow time for the healing, the recovery, the, you know, the integration, the all

43:55 that stuff to happen. So, you know, talking about all this stuff, I really appreciate the the perspective of the, the view or the identity or the belief system of yourself and your relationship with yourself and coming back to that, like non violence and like your love towards yourself, I think is important. And also recognizing that like it just never ends. Just like your physical ailments, you know, you're always going to have some physical challenges as you move through life.

44:20 And it's not so much the ending of trying to fix everything because fixing has this thing like the job's done when it's fixed. And the reality is life that their job is never done. You're always you're still navigating life and there's always going to be challenges and there's always things that we looked at.

44:34 Thank you for revealing yourself. I'll look at this or I'll try to deal with this, which brings in the real time things. So yeah, it's just the never, it's a never ending thing. So don't try to end it because it won't. Nature is perfect.

44:45 It's figured it out. I mean, natural disasters, which have been around since the beginning of this planet are perfect too. And even even though they might destruct, you know, and we are perfect by design, you know, just like the trees that grow and the flowers that bloom and the mistletoe that occasionally has, you know, like Clover that has like 3 or 4 leaves sometimes.

45:13 And, and then as humans, we decide to like put meaning behind certain things like, oh, that means luck or that means that's, that flower is, you know, growing sideways. That's a broken flower. I mean, whatever we do, at the end of the day, it is just unconditional love.

45:33 Love yourself no matter what, but hold yourself to high standards at the same time. And that's all I got to say on this subject. We have some bolt. What are these called here? These things sound effects, sound effects that we created. I wanted to try the one of them.

45:49 Yeah. The Ohm 1. Sure, that's the top left. Let's see what you guys think about this. Here we go. Oh, do you guys like that? Let us know. I got one more. Yeah. No, I'm going in. OK, I'll leave it at that. Thank you guys for listening. I need recap.

46:13 No, I think I already kind of brought that through, but I will extend the invitation to reach out, as always. You know, you can either message me or Byron on Instagram. That seems to be the easiest way, and that's the way that people tend to do it. Byron Yoga, Yeah.

46:26 Byron yoga or Michael yoga dot PT is the best way to do it. So yeah. Your thoughts or, you know, counterpoints or whatever you have just, you know, we're all about welcoming that stuff in. And if you're, if you're interested in other topics, that also is great as well because, you know, we always try to bring things in that are relevant for what people want to hear. So if there's something that's relevant to you, just bring it up and we will bring it up.

46:50 Otherwise, thank you so much for listening and we'll talk to you next week. Thank you. Thank you and I look forward to the next one.