How to Process Anger and Frustration with Michael Henri

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0:16 So if you go to Apple podcast or Spotify or whatever podcast platform you use, Scroll down until you find that star review and then give us some love. Thank you so much and let's get started with this week's episode. Slowing your breath activates that parasympathetic response, calms the amygdala, that smoke alarm, right, that fear alarm, and starts to lower your cortisol levels.

0:41 So that's just a great simple technique when you're actually in the state of feeling the anger or feeling the frustration or whatever it is. Because it's very difficult to actually respond or let's say, make decisions from a place when these emotions have taken over to the point where now we don't actually have access to this logical part of our brain or prefrontal cortex, or some of those resources have kind of been blocked off because we don't have the flow moving

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2:01 Good morning and welcome to the Going Pro Yoga podcast. My name is Michael Henry and I am your host with the most today. This is a solo episode, no guests, and it'll be a brief 1, I think, where we're going to talk about the science, possibly even the anatomy or the neuroscience of anger, rage, frustration, and annoyance.

2:21 Some of these core emotions, and I would say regularly experienced emotions, particularly frustration and annoyance for a lot of us, which can often times lead to things like anger and possibly even rage. Now for me personally, I have, or at least I've had a history of frustration being more of my core mode of suffering.

2:43 I don't know if you've heard this before, but at least in my years of growth and development, there was a common question that I was always asked like, what's your what's your favorite form of suffering? Which is kind of a funny question, but it's more so like what undesired emotion do you experience often? That is, you know, you're kind of unconditional, your unconscious way of kind of experiencing suffering. So for me, frustration seems to be the common emotion, or at least it was.

3:15 I've worked on it quite a bit and I'll share about some of the things that I've done to help with that. But ultimately, frustration and annoyance kind of are similar. And then of course, anger and rage, like I said, are a little bit more of a potent or concentrated version of those other. So basically the purpose of today's episode is to look at this from a psychological perspective, but also examining what these emotions do in our bodies from like a chemical perspective, how it affects our

3:42 brain, and even how things like Chinese traditional medicine views them and how it can affect certain organs. And ultimately, my goal is to just help you understand a little bit more about these emotions for your own personal growth so that you can basically see and notice possibly some of these physical effects that might have on you so that you can feel a little bit more empowered to possibly work through them. In fact, we'll probably go through a few little practical things near the end of this

4:08 episode. So let's just dive right in and start talking about which I would see it say is more of the the starter emotion in this category of four, which would be annoyance. So annoyance feels kind of small. It's that would be considered more of a minor or a mild emotion that might actually spike a bit of cortisol or adrenaline in your body, particularly if it's repetitive. If you're feeling annoyed over long periods of time, then you know, you might actually start

4:39 to develop a little bit more of this stress hormone release of cortisol. So annoyance feels small, but it can actually build up like pebbles, pebbles in your shoe, which can be super annoying. And in traditional Chinese medicine, annoyance can actually affect your lungs.

4:57 So if you feel tense in your chests, it might be a sign that you're kind of getting annoyed about certain things and it's starting to pile up a little bit. So the thing about emotional intelligence is kind of just recognition of certain emotions. So when things are mild, like annoying, sometimes it's not so easy to actually notice when it's kind of coming through. But let's just start to talk a little bit more about the other three before we kind of dive

5:22 more into it. So for me, the next one would be frustration. OK, now this isn't like an official, you know, like fact that annoyance leads to frustration. But for me, to me they're, they're very similar. But annoyed is like, OK, it's mild frustration's like a little bit more than mild, right.

5:43 So frustration can result in again as a low level of cortisol release, especially if it's prolonged and this can lead to ongoing stress responses and contribute to tension related symptoms in the body. So more of like a like a constriction in the body. So frustration is kind of like a slow burn, maybe not as intense as like anger, but it builds up over time as well. So in traditional Chinese medicine, this emotion is linked to the stomach in the spleen

6:14 showing up as digestive issues typically. So think about it, when we're frustrated, we're often feeling stuck on something and our body also feels stuck as well. Or you can think of it as like food or your digestion might actually might not actually be moving along.

6:32 So the neuroscience behind frustration or chronic frustration can reinforce neural pathways in the brain, meaning that the more that we feel it, the easier it is for our brains to default to frustration. So This is why for me in particular, and I would say for a lot of people who are probably listening, frustration is a very common emotion and it is probably a default emotion for a lot of people as well.

6:57 So at the original, sorry, at the beginning of this podcast, when I asked or I spoke about my favorite flavor of suffering, the question could be similar to like, what is your default emotion for suffering? Or what is your default emotion that you feel when things are not going well, for example?

7:16 So I'd say that frustration is one of the top ones there. Now let's continue on to anger. So when we get angry, our body is actually going to start to feel it a little bit more. So when we talked about annoyance and frustration, I would say those are a little bit more on the mild side.

7:35 It might not actually manifest in the body as much, but anger itself, we're going to probably potentially feel a little bit more, especially if you're more tuned into your, your own body awareness. So ever notice that your heart will typically start to increase when you're starting to get angry? Or maybe you're starting to feel some things or tightness in the chest?

7:55 This is kind of your body's way of gearing up for some sort of action. It's your sympathetic response. It's your kind of fight or flight that's kicking in a little bit more than just mild, for example. So in traditional Chinese medicine, anger is tied up to the liver, which is, I would say, pretty commonly understood.

8:14 So which is responsible for smooth flowing of energy. Your liver is basically meant to kind of like filter your blood and therefore helping to move energy, move the chi, move the prana throughout your body. So when anger is starting to build up or pent up, it's like putting a cork in a river and creates a lot of pressure. So from chemistry perspective, or you can consider it a little bit of a neuroscience perspective, anger kind of triggers the release hormone of

8:45 stress, sorry. It releases the hormone of stress and primarily adrenaline and cortisol. So these chemicals prepare the body for like, again, this fight or flight sympathetic response, which of course results in things like increasing your heart rate, muscle tension, and of course increasing your blood pressure.

9:04 So how anger activates in the brain is it starts to activate the amygdala. So the amygdala is the brains, you could call it the fear center or the smoke alarm. For something is something is wrong and this starts to reduce some of the activity in your prefrontal cortex which is responsible for reasoning and impulse control.

9:27 So when we start to get to this level of anger, there would be a change in the brain where we're starting to get less functioning rational thinking or less resources towards our logical mind and therefore becoming a little bit more, let's say, emotionally focused. So this is more of the potent part of frustration and annoyance or anger kind of grows a little bit there. Now let's take it one step further and talk about rage. So rage is something that I

10:03 started to experience recently and I'll tell that story shortly. But for now, let's just talk about it from a definition perspective as well. So rage is angers kind of extreme cousin. It's like the version of it that's just a lot stronger.

10:18 So when we feel rage, it's almost like thinking part of our brain is going offline. So now we have an even bigger disconnection between our logical and rational mind. And then we have more of our emotional mind or emotional body starting to kick in a little bit more and kind of take over, basically starting to grab the the driver's wheel and jump in the driver's seat. So in traditional Chinese medicine, this intense energy of rage can put strain on your

10:45 liver as well as the gallbladder. And that's why we might feel it in physical forms, possibly even tight shoulders or even migraines or tension in the body because of this pressure build up and an even more intense way than just anger in general. So from a chemistry perspective, sorry, rage is amplified, an amplified form of anger.

11:10 And with even higher levels of adrenaline and cortisol flooding the system. Now, this can overwhelm the body, leading to extreme physical responses like shaking or loss of control. And according to neuroscience, it explains that during an episode of rage, the limbic system, again, the emotional brain starts to really take over, which I kind of mentioned before.

11:33 It often kind of hijacks the overall rational thinking mind, which is why people might feel this like red haze or this inability to think clearly. So when we look at these four emotions, to me they're almost like milestones of aggravation or irritation that is just kind of leading to changes in the body. So from annoyance to frustration to anger to possibly rage. And there is actually another emotion that I didn't mention that is sometimes related to

12:04 this, which I've experienced a few times and we'll just kind of talk about it as well. And that is resentment. So resentment, even though it's kind of, you wouldn't necessarily consider it part of the same resentment is it's kind of like anger or frustration that has festered over a long period of time, often steaming from a perceived unfair treatment or unfulfilled expectation.

12:30 Just basically, in my experience, whenever I'm not feeling like I'm treating being treated fairly, I might start to build up a little bit of this resentment because of the frustration. So it's often stored as anger that's directly towards a person or a situation.

12:46 So that resentment has a little bit more of a focused that's say, energetic arrow. I actually have a quote here that's really nice, which you may have heard it before from Buddha. So resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die because the suffering itself is actually kind of going through US.

13:08 And a lot of the same for these other emotions as well. But I thought that was a nice quote to share. So again, resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Now think of resentment as anger that's been left to brew. Over time, it can feel heavier, like it's become a part of us. And according to Chinese medicine, this is an emotional and physical block, especially affecting the liver and the heart as well.

13:31 So it's all kind of in the same world of the organ system. So this might be why people with deep seated resentment often feel tense in their chest and carry a sense of emotional burden, right? So very common, I would say in relationships, often times things aren't being expressed, frustrations or annoyances are not being expressed, leading to possibly anger, but ultimately that's starting to build up and fester over time and then leading to resentment.

13:58 And the unfortunate thing about that in relationships is we don't actually remember often times why we're frustrated or why we're angry because it's festered over time. So the actual connection or the logical rationale of a why is not so much there, but then that that limbic system, that part of our, sorry, the emotional center is a little bit more activated and then all of a sudden now we're reacting from that place.

14:22 So that's a little bit more of the definitions overall. I mean, we could talk about even deeper form of this, which would be hatred. But honestly, I don't, I don't think a lot of people feel hatred. Maybe they do, but it's a really intense emotion, right?

14:35 Basically, hatred is like an intense form of disdain or aversion towards somebody or something, often accompanied by some sort of desire for harm or complete rejection of someone. So very, very intense. So unlike anger or rage, which is typically temporary, hatred can be enduring and consuming.

14:55 So without saying too much more about that, let's actually start to move back into the overall kind of foundation of these emotions of annoyance, frustration, and so on. So the reason why these emotions we can become problematic is when we let these emotions build up without processing them, we create a cycle of physical and mental stress that's tough to break. Like I mentioned, because of often times, if we're not addressing these things as they're coming through us, the actual reasons why they come

15:28 through might be lost on us. We might actually forget why, but the emotion, the actual feeling, the tension is going to be still within our body. So for example, if we're frequently frustrated, that becomes a a neural path that's easier for our brains to follow. And over time, our brains and our bodies begin to expect things like frustration or annoyance. So if you find yourself often annoyed or often frustrated about certain things, consider it almost like a habit, a condition, or a pattern of this

16:00 is just how your body reacts. This is how it's learned to react because the neural pathway has been a little bit more defined for you. So emphasis that chronic exposure to stress hormones like cortisol can lead to health issues, of course, like high blood pressure, immune suppression, memory impairment, and all these other things.

16:20 And if ultimately affecting relationships, affecting your function throughout your day professionally and personally and so on. So in traditional Chinese medicine, unresolved emotions are like disrupting the body's energy flow, like I mentioned before, so which eventually can lead to chronic physical issues in the organs and in the overall system itself. So we're going to talk a little bit about some practical techniques on how we can actually work through some of these emotions.

16:50 But I did do a little bit of research to dive into some of The Pioneers, or I wouldn't say some of The Pioneers, but some of the people that are respected who would be considered emotionally intelligent individuals. So I have a few people and I just have a couple quotes that I'd love to share. Nelson Mandela.

17:13 So Nelson Mandela, he actually has a transforming quote related to what Buddha had said. That's just kind of in his own words. But basically resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping that will kill your enemies, right? So Mandela's wisdom speaks to the power of the release, right? When we understand the physical toll that anger, resentment or frustration takes on us, this quote or this perspective becomes a reminder to find healthier outlets, ways in which we can actually release.

17:43 So that is something that we will do shortly. But also Abraham Lincoln approaches with more of a hot letter situation. So he's a little bit more ahead of his time, or he was, I should say, I had a little bit more ahead of his time because basically what he would do is he would write letters of anger not and actually not give it to anyone per SE. So we understand that now in neuroscience that writing about our emotions, especially in a safe space, can create a new brain pathway that helps us to

18:15 actually manage these feelings a little bit more. In fact, I've seen, I think I might have seen on social media or possibly seen in the school system because my partner, Christina, she works in emotional intelligence education for schools, for teachers and kids.

18:32 And sometimes they'll be kids that will be encouraged to, if they're feeling angry to like write an, an emotion or write a letter to the emotion of anger, which can be a very healthy release. So if that's something that you experience, if you feel a lot of anger, which might be just that build up frustration and annoyance, possibly even resentment, and it's just you're not even sure why just, you know, grab a piece of paper and just start journaling to start

18:58 writing. I feel angry because or do your anger, you know, why are you here and just kind of start letting things flow out of you, right? Try to get unstuck from that flow burden in your body and allow things to kind of come through.

19:15 And then the last quote that I have is from Brené Brown on ultimately vulnerability. And that is to actually take action in this case. So it takes courage to own our own emotions and transform them into something instructive.

19:30 So Brene Brown's work shows us that expressing emotions isn't an actual weakness. If you've read her book, she's all about the vulnerability and the courage to actually express our emotions, to feel our emotions. And neuroscience, of course, tells us that when we're open to our feelings, it activates parts of our brain that help us with emotional regulation and resilience.

19:54 Even if the emotions don't feel great. That's part of the feeling vulnerable is to actually allow ourselves to go to that place. So the now the question is like, OK, what are some of the things we can actually do to work through some of the stuff? I would say the first thing is just actually learning about these emotions, which is kind of what we started to do, just understanding them a little bit more. So that when they actually start to come through us, we can kind of identify them a bit more.

20:20 So maybe you're working through some of these emotions right now and you've you've kind of nailed it. You're like, Oh yeah, I'm definitely feeling some resentment, or I'm definitely feeling some anger or I'm definitely feeling some rage. Now some of the techniques here, actually, yeah, let's talk about the techniques first and then I'll share my story about how I went from annoyed, frustrated, angry to basically rage back down to calm, right.

20:46 So it's a, it's a story, another story where I went to Nepal and had to deal with, you know, challenges with flying and airlines and canceled flights. But before we do that, let's just talk about some of the techniques. So of course, things like breathing, connecting to your breath or breath work techniques can be really helpful to decrease that sympathetic response in your body and activate more of the parasympathetic response, helping to regulate your nervous system, right?

21:14 Slowing your breath activates that parasympathetic response, calms the amygdala, that smoke alarm, right, that fear alarm, and starts to lower your cortisol levels. So that's just a great simple technique when you're actually in the state of feeling the anger or feeling the frustration or whatever it is. Because it's very difficult to actually respond or let's say, make decisions from a place when these emotions have taken over. To the point where now we don't

21:47 actually have access to this logical part of our brain or prefrontal cortex where some of those resources have kind of been blocked off because we don't have the flow moving through our body. So one of the first things is actually helping to regulate our system as best as we can is going to be a great start before we start to do anything else.

22:06 Other things that can be helpful as well as especially if it's something that's festered over time, is to actually reflect back and like try to make sense of it. So this can be through journaling. Sometimes just meditation can be helpful or mindful reframing of what actually happened if you can kind of get to that.

22:24 But I would say actually identifying why or the cause is sometimes helpful. So try writing down the emotion that you're experiencing and dig into why it's actually there. Like try to make sense of like what actually happened and why I might be feeling it. That can help to really relieve some of the tension in the body, acknowledging it and also help to lower your nervous system activation to more of that parasympathetic response. I'm not a big fan of journaling.

22:55 It doesn't really work for me. For me, I'm more of a in my head processing. So you do your own thing of what works best for you. But for me, I like to just sit and meditate and just be in stillness and just breathe. And I often get my my journaling done in that kind of way without actually writing things down. However, journaling can be a great way to create neural pathways and help the brain process emotions. And it starts to involve more of that prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for that rational

23:24 thought, like I mentioned before. Otherwise, another really great technique is to actually start to get into your body a little bit more. Now we have a few episodes where we've talked about ways in which we can process emotions, one of which with Katie Nesbitt, the number is the episode number is kind of eluding me right now, but I think it's like 100 and I'm going to say like 20 something, maybe 1-10. I'll put it in the show notes if you want to listen to it. But how to process emotions?

23:55 So this is going to be more of a general outlook, but ultimately connecting to your body is going to be very effective at helping to resolve some of these emotions that we experience. This can be for basically any emotion, but whenever we're feeling things like frustration, anger, annoyance, possibly rage, that can really start to consume us in a way which it affects our personal and professional life, right?

24:19 So body awareness techniques. So yes, we can try this, you know, ways of relaxing by breathing, but sometimes actually just working through your body and like checking in, like from head to toe, basically notice where you might actually be holding tension in your body, right?

24:35 Maybe closing your eyes, just breathing and just like listening. Where do I feel this now? If you're familiar with Peter Levine, Peter Levine is one of The Pioneers of trauma research. He wrote a book called I believe it's Waking the Tiger, which was a great book to learn more about trauma in the body and how it relates to being an animal that we are and how other animals in the world, whether it be, you know, lions and gazelles and birds and how they deal with

25:07 trauma or how they deal with these, let's say, emotions that come through. We might not call them emotions because some people don't believe that animals have emotions, but they're still going to be experiencing similar, let's say, changes chemically in the body, cortisol, stress and all this stuff.

25:23 So very interesting book. If you want to have a look, I actually think it might be on Spotify to have a listen. It's a bit science heavy, so, you know, tread lightly on it. But either way, Peter Levine's research overall suggests that body awareness allows the brain to actually map and release areas holding the emotional tension, which can result in lowering cholesterol or lowering cortisol.

25:49 So actually starting to feel into your body, connecting to your body is a great way to help move through the emotion. So scanning body scan meditation or just like stillness and kind of scanning your body, you know, even just like connecting to your body is sometimes just like feeling your body tapping things like this. Doing yoga is also a great way to kind of move into the body. But I think that the, the actual research with Peter Levine is more so like trying to identify

26:15 where it's being felt. Like where is the tension actually building up, right? It can be felt in different areas of the body. So being able to identify that. And then the last thing is to kind of reframe or reflect on this experience after things have kind of settled down, your nervous system has kind of come back to, let's just say a reset point. And then actually kind of ask yourself, like, what can I learn from this feeling?

26:45 Like I, you know, I've identified the feeling. I've identified where in my body, if I'm feeling it, I, I understand a little bit of where it came from. You know, I was talking to this person and, you know, they were upsetting me or I had these expectations and they weren't mad and it led to frustration and anger and so on, right.

27:02 But then the job's not done. It's like, what can I actually learn from this? Like, how can I respond differently next time? Or maybe I'll be able to notice this earlier so it doesn't lead to, you know, all these changes in my body so quickly. So reframing activities can help the brain's cognitive control network, helping to reduce activity in that amygdala that what do we call it, the smoke alarm system in your brain to promote clear thinking.

27:32 So really what this is all about is just kind of like neuroplasticity. It's about reef. It's about reprogramming our mind to be able to respond more effectively in certain situations that might result in undesired feelings and emotions of like anger, frustration and so on. Now, a few other things that can be related to this stuff before I share my story is, you know, of course, forgiveness and self compassion, right?

28:01 The, the dance or the, the, the thing that's challenging for people with, I would say experiencing emotions is the, the judgement or the shame of like, Oh, I shouldn't be feeling this or I am feeling this and I feel stupid that I'm feeling this. And it's, you know, it's dumb that I'm angry and it's, you know, rage is not a desirable like emotion. And you know, starting to like add more pain on top of the pain you're already experiencing, right? So forgiveness and self

28:29 compassion is extremely powerful, right? So how forgiving yourself and others related to whatever it is that's happening can actually help to reduce the cortisol and that stress hormone that's being released in your body and then ultimately relieving some of that physical tension, especially in the shoulders and the chest as it relates to these emotions. And then empathy, of course, is such a calming force. You know, empathy and self compassion. Similarly related, empathy

28:59 itself activates the brain's reward centers and helps us feel better and ease the tension caused by frustration and annoyance. So just having empathy for yourself or possibly even others if they're experiencing these types of emotions. So hopefully some of this stuff is really helpful for you. Now I'll share my story of like how I kind of went through this process and I'm sure some of you might, might relate because I know a lot of the people listening are travellers and they've probably come across a

29:25 situation like this. Now, I was travelling in Nepal, if you depend on when this episode is released, but basically in October of 2024, I went to do an Anaporna trek. And that actually trek was very, it was such a beautiful trek for me because it helped me really dive into my emotional intelligence even more. In fact, that's what's inspiring some of these episodes where I'm talking more about emotion, right? When people ask me like, how was that trek? I'm like, it was physically

29:54 challenging, but it was emotionally challenging, right? Just going through a wave of it was almost like a Vipassana, but not, right? Because a lot of times I'm kind of just walking by myself and just like feeling things and looking and breathing. And so it was very insightful for me. But that being said, this story is more so about what happened once I was finished the trek and that was when I was actually coming home back to Bali.

30:19 And I had a flight from Pokhara, Pokhara, Nepal to Kathmandu, which is a short flight is like 30 minutes before I was about to board my flight to go basically back to Bali, right? So I was going to go through Kuala Lumpur.

30:31 So I basically had three flights, right? Pokhara to Kathmandu, Kathmandu to Kuala Lumpur and Kuala Lumpur to Bali. So I woke up nice and early, 6:00 AM and my flight was I think at like 7:30 or something like that, or maybe it was eight.

30:45 I went to the airport and if you've ever been to Pokhara, it's a really small airport, small ish planes and the, the wind and the weather is very important before taking off. So unfortunately the weather wasn't so great.

31:00 So they had delayed my flight for about I think it was about 3 hours. And while the flight was basically in delay and I was kind of sitting in the airport, I like called the airline for my next flight because it was a separate airline, separate ticket.

31:15 And I was trying to like change my flight and all this stuff. So I called and they sent me a payment link. I, you know, basically made the payment, changed my flight. I had to pay like a penalty and the cost difference of the flight, of course. And then eventually I jumped on the flight and went to and landed in Kathmandu.

31:32 And then my flight was not until later that night. So I was like, OK, cool, I'm just going to chill. I like, went into town, went to FAML if you're familiar with the area. I'm just kind of had like lunch. And then I called the airline just to like verify.

31:43 I was like, OK, let's just make sure that, you know, all the stuff is sorted out. And for whatever reason, they just my, my payment went through. They got my money, but the flight didn't book. So I didn't actually have a flight, right.

31:57 And then my other flight, which I had missed because of the delay, was obviously cancelled and had already passed. So I'm like talking to the airline just trying to figure out this whole situation. And they're, you know, they're like hands are tied and they're basically saying, oh, you just have to buy another flight. And I'm like, I just bought another flight and they're like, OK, well, we'll refund you that amount. But if you buy another flight,

32:17 you know, it'll be fine. But just know that the flights now are probably more expensive because it's it's getting closer to the time. So I was like, OK, this is kind of really annoying. You know, I'm starting to feel annoyed, starting to feel a little frustrated.

32:28 And I was like, OK, you know what, no big deal, refund me. And I'm just going to book another flight through another airline. So I looked up another airline, Nepal Airlines, booked a flight to be able to go from basically Kathmandu to Kuala Lumpur. And then when I was speaking to this woman, I said, OK, so if I get to Kuala Lumpur in time for my next flight, is it cancelled? Or will I be able to join the flight that I I basically originally missed because there

32:58 was already a long layover? So I would have just basically been trying to catch up to the flight that I missed. And she said, Yep, no problem. I should have known better. But I was like, OK, great. So I got on my flight, arrived into Kuala Lumpur and basically, you know, I only had a small window. I think it was a few hours and I was feeling a little bit of stress already because I was like, OK, shit. I got to move quickly.

33:20 I got to get my bags, I got to go through customs, I got to, you know, check back in again. So I kind of was rushing through it. And then I got to the counter and I gave them my, my itinerary basically and said, OK, cool.

33:31 Like I have my next flight. And she's like, you know, working behind the counter and she's asking me for my passport and she's asking me a few questions. And I'm like, oh, God, what's gonna happen? And then she's like, I'm sorry, Sir.

33:42 She's like, you don't have a, your, your flights been cancelled. You're gonna have to book another ticket. And I'm just like, oh, my God. I could just feel it. Actually, I might even have skipped anger because I just started to feel rage.

33:54 Or maybe I experienced anger before that, but I just started to feel rage. I could feel my body just getting so upset in that moment. And this poor woman behind the desk was, was about to get the wrath descended upon her from me. But I, I held it back.

34:12 You know, I tried to practice my Yogi self-awareness techniques and I didn't unleash on her, but I did definitely express some frustration to say like, Hey, can you know, you understand my situation? Like I just want to get home and like this has been happening and you know, again, her hands are tied. She's like, you just need to buy another flight. So I was like, OK, fine, you know what, just grab my stuff. I'm still, I'm pretty heated right now at this point. So I go to the counter to buy a

34:37 new flight and then I go to buy flight and it's like super expensive to buy the next flight just to go from Kuala Lumpur to Bali. So I'm just, I'm just filled with rage right now at this point. And like, I was like, I know it's only money, but this whole thing was just super challenging for me.

34:54 And then I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna, I'm gonna book a flight with AirAsia. It's a cheaper airline and it'll be a discounted flight. And this is just gonna be the thing that I do. So then I had to go to another terminal.

35:08 So I started to move to another terminal to book that flight because I tried to do it online, but it was too close to the timeline. And for whatever reason, it just wasn't working. So I was like, I'll go to the terminal. I'll just book a flight, right, directly from the desk, jump on, get to Bali eventually.

35:22 And like, you know, I can just go to bed basically, because at this point, I've been travelling for a while, you know, I'm tired, I'm feeling hungry, I'm, I'm dirty, you know, So all these things are contributing to the, the stress in my body, not just from like a situational perspective, but like from a basic needs perspective, right? My basic needs were not fully being met. So that was contributing to my overall stress. So I basically jump on the I

35:48 guess it was like the train or the tram to get to the next terminal station. And like, I'm still feeling a lot of anger and frustration and rage and like, I don't even know what it is at this point. I'm just like, I'm just upset basically. And when I got on the tram, you know, I sit down and I'm looking, OK, there's a few stops until I get to my stop. OK, fine.

36:08 And then, you know, people are walking in, it starts to get busy. And then this young woman comes in and she's pregnant and her friend says, oh, can, can you, can you move so that he, she can sit down? And of course I wanted to do that, but I was so angry that part of me was like, no, this is my seat.

36:26 Like I need this, right. I didn't say any of that. Of course, I got up and, you know, let her sit and stuff like that. But I'm just feeling all this emotion. So now I'm standing in the, in the tram or the, the train and I'm a tall guy, so I couldn't actually see the stops. So basically while I was kind of stewing in my own emotion, my, my flavour of suffering, I missed, I missed my stop at least once, maybe twice.

36:50 Basically I was on that tram for like 45 minutes, which was supposed to be a short shuttle, right? Because I was just so consumed by emotion. My rational logical mind was just not present. Fortunately for me, because I was on that tram for so long and eventually once I realized I'd missed my stop, I still had like another 1520 minutes until I got, because I basically like looped around a couple times. It's funny to reflect on now, but at the time, it didn't feel so funny.

37:17 But what I was able to do there is I actually started to do some of those techniques. I was work focusing on my breath. I was starting to just like, you know, listen to my body, kind of close my eyes. Like, where am I feeling this? Like this isn't helping me.

37:27 Like, what do I need to do here? I need to like, shift my vibration. I need to like, let go of this, you know, and like, I'll eventually get home. It's only money. Like I just started to kind of like work through some of this stuff to the point where once I got to my terminal and I jumped off the train, I just felt different, right? I didn't feel like I was holding on to this. My stress, my cortisol, all that stuff had shifted. And it's almost like I was just

37:52 in this like state of surrender and acceptance of like, OK, this just happened and it is what it is, right? And then I go to the terminal, I book my flight and then everything after that, like I didn't have any issues, right?

38:03 It's almost like this like Dark Cloud had been following me for like 36 hours or I was just like challenge after challenge after challenge. And, you know, not to go too much into the, the law of, of vibration and attraction and kind of, you know, how I might have been just doing this to myself because of the state and being of which I was in.

38:23 But overall, that entire experience just made me feel so much emotion, all of these emotions that we talked about in this podcast to the point where I was just like, I need to share and talk about this. And that's kind of why I brought it up to you guys today. So I'm sure that you've experienced different versions of, you know, these emotions, annoyance, frustration, anger, possibly rage, possibly even resentment, which is probably, I'd say pretty common,

38:49 especially in relationships. But the techniques and the and the the strategies in which working through this stuff is always going to be pretty similar. Which is basically, how do I regulate my nervous system? How can I incorporate some breathing techniques?

39:02 How can I maybe remove myself from the situation somehow so that I can actually like ground feeling in a safe place, possibly even like feeling into my body, like where am I feeling this? And then, you know, maybe journaling, writing it down. Any way in which we can kind of process it so that we can start to get back to more of a rational decision mind, right. Especially if we're in in the actions we want to like get through it so that we can maybe

39:27 get to our final destination or work through the day or whatever it is we need to do. But at the end of the day, I think it's still important to practice that self compassion and to not judge ourselves for this experience because we're all human and we all experience these emotions and it's super normal. It's super normal, right?

39:47 We are not defined by the emotions we experience. We are just experiencing the emotions. So hopefully this episode is really helpful for you to just kind of feel a little bit more connected to these sets of emotions and then possibly creating more awareness so that when you do feel them, where you experience them in the future, that you can possibly be a little bit more prepared to handle them or possibly deal with them in the aftermath of this entire experience that you may or may not be going through

40:15 at the time. Otherwise, if you have any thoughts, I'd love to hear more if you have any interests in these types of podcast episodes where we talk about emotions and dive deeper into them. Please let me know cuz this is where I really like to focus my energy now.

40:31 Yoga is such a beautiful practice and I feel like emotional intelligence and awareness is all really a part of the same thing. So let me know your thoughts. You can send me a message on Instagram. We'll have it in the show notes. Or if you want to send me a nice e-mail, you can do that at Podcast Outgoing Pro yoga.com.

40:48 Otherwise, have a beautiful rest of your day and we'll speak to you next week. Take care for now. All right, before you go, let me just tell you about the going proyoga.com platform. So right now you can go to goingproyoga.com and check it out for free for seven days where you can actually learn more about yoga in the ways of alignment, queuing, sequencing, yoga anatomy.

41:09 So that if you've done a 200 hour teacher training and you want to continue to learn, practice and grow, this platform is definitely for you. So I definitely suggest checking it out. Going proyoga.com right now. You can try it out for free for seven days.