Masculine and Feminine Energy: Finding a Healthy Balance with Byron and Michael

0:00 So I think it's important to know that they just they're not meant to be separate from one another. They are basically kind of flowing are we should be flowing in between masculinity and femininity all the time to in order to just make decisions in life to operate and all that stuff. And a good visual way that.

0:15 I'm just imagining it is. If you imagine just a person or or, you know, like a little drawing black and white drawing and then all you see is arrows pointing in, or towards the person like stacked on top of each other, all the way around from head to toe does arrows pointing At the person's body to me, I would imagine that as an energetic expression of femininity and then you take that exact same diagram and then that now, the arrows are all pointing outward out to the

0:39 sides above your head. Like it just out to me. That would be an energetic expression of what masculinity would be using these words of action, and those types of things like that direction. And then the femininity being more inward or reflective more creative, these types of things.

0:53 So for that visual perspective to me, I would say those arrows are not always out and they're not always in the They kind of flowing in and out on a regular basis but just for our own brains to comprehend. There is a, there is a separation of understanding but they are not separate from each other. Welcome to the going pro, yoga podcast, nugget series. My name is Michael Henry and I'm Byron de Marseille and he's short episodes.

1:18 We're going to be answering some of the most common questions in the yoga industry so that you can walk away with the answers in a short period of time. That's right. Michael with each topic, that we choose will be discussing it from two different perspectives. Actives, the teacher and the student, I'll be approaching these questions as a physiotherapist or physical therapist with over 10 years experience treating. So the most common and complex injuries. And my guidance will be from the

1:41 perspective of having taught 7000 classes, roughly 10,000 hours over 10 years. Welcome to our podcast, welcome back to the going pro yoke podcast. Today, we're going to be talking about masculinity and femininity and the reason why is because we've been granted a little situation. There was a question asked about how to kind of balance themselves out in a relationship. When one person is feeling more masculine or more feminine and trying to kind of go to the

2:10 polar opposite and this was prompted from a question that Byron received. And if you are listening, thank you for the inspiration for this podcast. So we're going to basically bring this to the discussion board and talk about masculinity and femininity as it pertains to relationships. Probably more romantic relationships, I imagine? Yes.

2:27 Yeah, we'll see where it goes. Okay, So what, how do we do? We Define probably the masculinity and femininity just so that everyone is on the same page and there isn't any kind of skewed understanding of like, you know, men masculinity and feminine. Women are femininity, you know, that. And they kind of need to coexist in almost every situation. So how would you define them in your world? I would Define masculine as structured going pushing doing Yeah.

3:00 Out outward action action. Action is a good way to put that and femininity would be the polar opposite of that. So it would be receptivity or listening. It would be Stillness. It would be creativity. It would be creativity. Comes up through the energy.

3:20 So I think what you said, defining it first is so important and it may take longer to Define it then. Some people might be willing to give it right, right. So I think it's important to know that they just they're not meant to be separate from one another.

3:36 They are basically kind of flowing are we should be flowing in between masculinity and femininity all the time to in order to just make decisions in life to operate and all that stuff. And a good visual way that. I'm just imagining it as if you imagine just a person or, or, you know, like a little drawing black and white drawing and then all you see is arrows pointing in, or towards the person like Act on top of each other all the way around from head to toe does

4:01 arrows pointing at the person's body to me. I would imagine that as an energetic expression of femininity and then you take that exact same diagram and then that now, the arrows are all pointing outward out to the sides above your head. Like it just out to me.

4:15 That would be an energetic expression of what masculinity would be using these words of action and those types of things like that direction. Hmm. And then the femininity being more inward or reflective more creative, these types of things. So for that visual perspective to me, I would say those arrows are not always out and they're not always in there, probably kind of flowing in and out on a regular basis but just for our own brains to comprehend.

4:38 There is a, there is a separation of understanding but they are not separate from each other that's really well put and I would go even further and say, you know, we're defining it right now through words. Yep. So this would be kind of a Yang, or masculine way of trying to Define it, where if you remove our ability to communicate, Munich 8 with words and think about this, they're just energies their energies. So what does it feel like to be masculine to? What does it feel like to be

5:10 feminine? And so I start to think about our conditioning and I start to think about the beginning of humans and the lack of other people's experiences trying to tell them how to live, and how to balance their energies, and how to eat, and how to do everything.

5:30 So, I think we're really far away from the center, the center of being able to know how we feel. Mmm, and yoga is has been for me. It's allowed me to scratch the surface to where I mean maybe some people perceive me as somebody who knows really what they're talking about but I believe I've just scratched the surface on this topic and that the real geniuses on this and are the people that began as humans on this Earth and and I don't know how far back you have to go.

6:03 But yeah so I start to think about that. What does it feel like to be feminine? What does it feel like to be masculine and when you can get In touch with what it feels like. Well then, you know when you are in balance or out of balance.

6:18 Yeah. You're more. You're more on one side versus the other and you'll know which one. Yeah, it'll be obvious. Then once you get in touch with the feeling, then you can put a plan into action, kind of a masculine approach to balancing yourself out. Even if it's a lack of feminine energy, you can still Implement practices to help.

6:41 Help you with that? Mmm, that's really interesting. I like that. But let me first explain to the audience that I did receive a message today, right? And it was prompting. They wanted to pick my brain on this topic where they wanted. They want a little help there really masculine. And this is a woman, she's really masculine, and her job, she works around men.

7:02 She operates on a masculine level because she has to, and she knows how to sew then she shifts into her personal life and She has some difficulty there and we didn't get into all the details, but she did mention like going out to eat at a restaurant. She doesn't want to have to make the decision of where to eat. She just wants to eat something warm and then for him to take control and decide where they're going to go and why can't she attract that and that really

7:32 brings up a lot because I think all of us have been in that situation before So I read something today that said the masculine energy needs the feminine energy to give it an opportunity needs that needs it to give it an opportunity.

7:49 So she did that, she gave the masculine the opportunity to come out but it didn't Why didn't it is? Now the question, mmm. So maybe it didn't come out because it's not willing. Maybe it's not there or possibly that person. Is also they don't match in that way. They also need a masculine energy in that circumstance, in that situation for the relationship to thrive and to grow and not become stagnant.

8:20 So, it all came from that and we went in deeper and deeper, but I can now go on about the conversation as it as it goes. But yeah. Michael, where do you kind of see this now in the masculine feminine and your life or what's coming out for You. I mean, I think of balance in general the word balance, not like physical balance, but just like the balance between two things, which is obviously what we're talking about when it comes to masculine feminine yin

8:52 and yang action versus introspection, these types of things. So it's kind of avoiding polarity to one side in my world. If you're too much of one thing then it usually there's an imbalance, right? So if you're too much, Going or you're activating too many, you're a masculine arrows, pointing outward, then you're going to be out of balance or if you're too introspective and you're only focusing on the inward then it's going to be out of balance, not to say it's

9:23 wrong or right? It's just there. I think there needs to be a fluctuation or a flow or a movement between those two things in order to find balance because the balance might need to shift. Maybe in certain situations, there needs to be 70% masculinity and 30% femininity present, you know, for Wisdom for making decisions. You know all action is not great but all reflection isn't great, either you need to reflect and then act, right? So to me it's they kept their

9:52 kind of one in the same or they need to play off each other in a very synchronistic way that our brains probably can't even understand, which is why I tried to use that Arrow. Of example, to just be like, it's just happening, you know?

10:03 It's kind of like your body is digesting food and, you know, absorbing these molecules from the air that your Eating in every second. It's literally happening in and out, in and out all the stuff. The same time to me. It's like Massey and feminine. That energy flow is kind of happening. And it's like how much more of one versus the other is going to come out in any particular situation and maybe for her and her working environment.

10:25 It's really important to be more masculine for many reasons, I'm sure. Right? But as a result, she feels that urge to be like, but I need to have more of those arrows flow the other way. So she's going the complete hours.

10:37 She's requesting more of the opposite, and it's like, she She knows how to be masculine. So if the masculine doesn't step up in that situation, she will. Yep. And so that's the cycle that continues itself, and she now is in this position of, in her 30s, needing some, some, some advice.

10:55 So, yeah. And I also thought about the money aspect. So gosh, it's the cultural again, the social conditioning, a bit, so money money, money money at all kind of. If you, if you, if you go all the way to the end of At that conversation, the probably get to money. As to being the reason, masculine energy seems to be more prevalent in society.

11:18 I mean, I know I so I notice it in yoga classes, even especially with work and career. When you say Society, I think work and career for sure. It's like, but then again, societies surrounded by working career. It's like, that's what it is. We're taught, we're taught to obtain to acquire to especially if you're a Westerner to get that. Promotion at your job or to work harder, or to be your best, to live, the American dream to move faster and to make more. Yes, and that's the extreme

11:48 level. But at a very minimal level, we're just taught to be to be better, not to just be and so therein lies a huge disconnection. Once you have that conversation about where do you want to eat today? Honey so I start to think about the definition again and I go deeper into analogy that That I love these analogies. Those of you who take classes, no food and I think of food as like because it's the most essential level of our existence, even the coaches go

12:21 into this. And the very first layer, which kosha means sheath or layer of our existence is our food body, it translates to food body. And this is just tells you how important it is. So you can make an analogy of food to anything, so that's why I choose it.

12:40 So if you're, if you're let's say out of balance with food and we're disconnected from this, as well, I believe, but if you're out of balance with food, how do you get into balance? You use food to bring you in or into balance, but you have to know where you are on the Spectrum, not just following a diet or some stupid thing that just like caught your attention.

13:02 Tension to lose some weight. You think you're fat, you need to be skinny, but know, how do you use food for for nourishment? Maybe you've been overeating for many many years. And you think that that, you know, just the eating like a low-carb diet will work or something like that. I don't know, maybe the problems way deeper than that, you know, maybe you've polluted your system and your system really needs to just not eat for a while that possibility is there or or it could be connected.

13:30 Back to even like emotional and Oz. Which results in behavioral change when it comes to diet exactly in a very complicated way. But ultimately, yeah, it could be the imbalance in the mass unit feminine in balance. In the diet, could be perceived as an imbalance in what you can see with your eyes visually, like a fad or person or a thinny, a skinnier person, but really, there's something in Balance going on in the inside.

13:55 Maybe they don't sleep very well. There's no sleep in their balance, maybe they don't. I'm process their emotions. Probably there's no balance there. Maybe they don't have enough, Them time or they don't have exactly. You know, there's there's they don't drink enough water.

14:06 There's, there's so many ways that the balance of the masculine feminine, whatever you want to say, but it could play out in different ways and just manifest them what we see as a masculine feminine expression. Let's say you're overly masculine and you want to become more in Balance.

14:21 So you're now aware aware of this. The situation is energetic and balance. What do you do to become more feminine? Well, first of all, the meditation is going to help you catch yourself to notice when you're out of balance, what do I need? Masculine or feminine.

14:40 So, the more you have a meditation or practice like meditation that allows you to in the moment. Hmm, identify what is happening. So, her question was, how do I act around other people? How do I balance my energies around other people. So she's aware, she's got that part down. She's totally trying to form around the people, she's around to balance.

15:07 That's great. But then you go into the food thing. How do you starve yourself of the masculine if you want more femininity? So there's practices. You said it daily practices. Yoga practice is amazing. Meditation is amazing self-care.

15:24 So, what you said, go get a massage Take a sabbatical, take a month off, how extreme is it? How badly do you want it? And so if you do these daily practices it should be natural for your energies to be balanced. This brings me into, maybe the most important, relevant yogic conversation will have on this, which is Hatha Yoga, and it's also krishnamacharya so krishnamacharya, those of you listeners are not sure who he is, he's like the most responsible person for Western yoga.

16:00 So when you're stronger practice and your Iyengar your Vinyasa, it would have never happened. Had krishnamacharya not had those people who Did those two as his students? His philosophy is all about the inhale and exhale, inhale representing feminine receptivity, I'll say it again, feminine receptivity inhale receiving right XL, representing strength and masculinity. So, it's great to understand that in your brain, but if you just take a deep breath with me,

16:37 take an inhale and hold it. And hold it. And what does it feel like to receive that breath? And then once you really get in touch with that feeling, you know, the energy behind it, and then Excel, all of it out. It could be as simple as that, it could be as simple as that if we're trying to change our magnetic field energetic field.

17:03 And that happens. You're changing it all the time. By the way, I don't want to get too hippie-dippy energy. This energy that you can go take a run and you just you feel different. You're quite aware everyone, listening that things change your energy, breathing changes your energy, And if it's that simple just breathing in and out in a balanced way focusing on the energy, the receiving aspect and the opposite then that could be that simple as a daily

17:28 practice. So that your life will flow, you'll be more in tune, more in touch more listening, Yeah. So being toxic masculine. Okay. I start to think about that and the issue with that is Receptivity, a lack of listening. So if you're toxic and masculine or overly masculine, you don't, you're not aware of the Havoc that your reeking on your own life on other people's life. You don't know how you come across to other people. You're so in your masculine, do

18:05 this, do that achieve this, get their bomb a bomb, never really withdrawing and going inward. That's this is the issue. I think we run into the toxic masculinity Pecan is they don't, you don't not aware. So, the meditation practice is probably where you begin, and that's not to say, I would call it feminine, but it's not really either.

18:27 It's really just being able to catch your thoughts. Once you can do that, then you'll know you're a toxic in your masculinity. Well, we don't hear this much but toxic femininity. What would that be? What would that look like? Because it would it would definitely be different. And I think about it as if you're completely in your feminine like in a way that's like you need to push yourself, then you're probably overly emotional at times. You kind of just spontaneously

18:59 combust into a motion. I think we all have those moments and I don't think it always means feminine energy but if you're overly in your feminine it will happen. More often is what I believe. Or maybe when you're out of balance, the expression of the emotional Outburst will appear to be more obvious in a feminine way.

19:20 And then seeming like it's an emotional because that's what we've learned is that like you know, women are emotional beings and man or not. But like an aggression or you know determination or any of these Associated words that can join the word action they can be overly emotionally aggressive as well. You know what I mean?

19:40 Like to angry or too frustrated. These types of things. So those bursts can be. And the only reason I'm saying this is because I don't want to Peg women as being like emotional, our femininity being overly emotional. I think it's important to know that masculinity can be overly emotional, as well. Aggression, or anger is exactly.

19:55 That's what I was thinking. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, even astrology and I are Veda. They acknowledge the masculine and The Feminine as well in this regard. But yeah, the toxic feminine would probably be overly emotional and like victim. What was the word that you said before? Yeah, victim mindset or kind of, I don't know. Complaining a lot.

20:19 Maybe I don't really necessarily want to own, like, put my stamp on that. Oh, no. I think, I think it's more of, just an energy. And it if you like Chinese medicine, get a, does this really well? And they will attach an emotion to an element. So, if you're out of balance with water, you know, you're going to be to heal yourself groaning. It's not supposed to help you balance your water. Hmm.

20:45 All right. If you're out of balance and metal which is a masculine type of element, it's about decision making and like structure, then you're going to need to cry to balance yourself out. That's a very feminine thing to like, experience that emotion to be soft enough to be slowed down enough to feel more. So I think that that little conversation of when you're too in your feminine or even balance, let's say let's say you're balanced and you're around toxic. Say masculinity.

21:13 Toxic masculinity. You are aware of their their shortcomings and they have no clue, right and they won't have a clue in there. They're going to continue on this path because they've been taught that this is the way to accomplish what you want and if something can help them check that and soften take it in develop itself, practice listen.

21:36 More at the very least life would become more graceful. And that makes me think of and you said it like listening. And to me, the quality of listening is also something that is imbalanced and Society. If you will, we're more stalkers more doers and less listeners. Right?

21:59 A lot of conversation in yoga or just in general is allowing people to to be heard, right? People want to be heard, right? So in order for people to be heard, you need to listen, but there's so many people that aren't listening that there's an imbalance of me. Masculinity in that space, at least for me. That's what it feels like.

22:15 And I mean not to get too much into this because we're already over time, but one of the biggest things that made me become more balanced with myself because I used to have a lots of toxic masculinity because I didn't know any better, right?

22:28 Especially learning a lot of stuff from just like playing sports and locker room talk and you know, having a I mean, a lot of our parents are older generation that have different beliefs on, you know, masculinity femininity, and these types of balances So, listening for me was the thing that did it all the second, someone told me that I wasn't a good listener and they said it in a way and it was someone that I respected and they said, in a way that wasn't aggressive, it

22:55 was more so matter-of-fact and like helpful to like, let me know about it. And when that happened, even though it felt like a knife to my heart because I was just like, I always thought I was a good listener and you know I respect this guy and he's telling me that I'm not and it wasn't aggressive. So I'm like, you know, fuck that guy. I'm just like shit.

23:12 Really. Boom. Now I'm Automatically introspectively thinking about, what does that mean? Like, know, how does that make me? I don't know like that. You know what I mean? As simple as this step is that was that's literally what catapulted me to be able to find more balance in my own, masculine feminine nature and now I'm, I'm way more in my feminine.

23:31 Now, I'm experiencing emotions more. I've been able to cry a lot more and release. A lot of that type of stuff. Become more vulnerable. Take a teacher training and say things that I wouldn't normally say where I feel uncomfortable and none of that stuff.

23:43 Happened. If it wasn't for that guy, that called me out on being quote, unquote, about the system. Yeah, and what's interesting there is that you were receptive enough in that moment for whatever reason to hear it. Yeah. The Stars aligned because another situations I probably have been like, what do you know? You don't mean.

24:02 Oh, yeah. So it was just time. It's time for you to hear that and yeah, I don't have a story as immediate as that one, but I did notice. DES in yoga, and I've chaired this many times, maybe not on the podcast, but listening was my number one issue in yoga classes, at least. And that's where I recognized it. I just was wondering, why do I need to look around the room, the entire class?

24:28 Why do I need to follow people? Why can't I really hear the instructor is like my, a, my slow. Am I like dis obtuse disability type person and I really thought maybe I was, so I kept showing up with intention. Of like I'm going to follow their instructions, not just their words. I'm going to follow this breath.

24:49 Amazing teachers by the way. So that's a big part of it but I just did what they said and things fell into place next thing, you know, I'm, I could practice with my eyes closed and it was his such a became such a like this is where yoga turned into my spirituality and my church, you know, more than just my gym and my therapist. All this stuff just Mel.

25:11 Just molded into one thing one. Room, one and a half hours and I could do it all at once. But without the listening, it would have stayed my gym and I probably wouldn't kept showing up either because I'd switch activities and just be like, oh, I'll get that. I'll get what I need out of this bicycling activity this and applaud his class this running.

25:31 Whatever the heck it would be a distraction from going. It acknowledging that. I am too much in my masculine, right? I like how we went to the listening aspect and it the last thing I'll I'll say, just before we close this off is that, you know, you could be listening with those arrows pointing out where you're not actually taking in what other people are saying and receptive to that.

25:52 And you could also not be listening to what's going on inside either and not receptive to what you're needing into particular moments. So, the listening is not necessarily being a bad year listener, could be being a bad listener, for yourself. I'm really about allowing yourself to actually hear what you need, more feel, what you need. I mean, whatever sense you want to plug in, they're doesn't matter.

26:14 It's just so listening. I did, you know, I did see something about that. It's listening is the space around the words. You're not just hearing the words that you can do that by just like, write it down and send it to you. It's the space behind the words, it's the feeling behind the words.

26:32 That's what listening is. So the same time you're feeling how you feel listening to the words and the actions and observing. So yeah, I like that. You pointed that out. To because I was thinking it perfect. And then the last thing I'm going to say, even though I already said the last thing was to makes me thinks of text messages and when you read text messages, there's no space in between so it's just it's just absorbing and always like a masculine Anjali face so many

26:59 Miss Communications, do that. And yeah saying, yeah, I'm great. I thought it was pretty good topic. So hopefully you guys pulled something out of that. I definitely had a few introspective moments there. I was reflecting on.

27:11 Oh, that's interesting one because you were listening, I helped you out. Audience was listening. Yeah, hopefully orders talking for nothing. If not, take a deep breath in. Hold it. And Let It Go. Thanks so much for listening.

27:30 We'll see you next time. Oh hey, one more thing. I couldn't be just more proud of what we've put together for yoga teachers. Mean this one-of-a-kind teaching platform, essentially a tool box. So the teachers can be more confident and give them a structure to be better teachers and I'm helping others on a global scale doing this. I mean, dude, The Blood Sweat and Tears we put into it, no one will ever see, but I'm so excited about I'm pretty excited about it as well, actually.

28:03 Even though you can't really tell them my voice now it's super cool. And I think it's because I feel tired from putting it together to be honest. But nonetheless it's something that I use as a new teacher and it's helped me so much with that structure, you know, to have something to follow along to know what to say.

28:20 And I mean, you can go in the details of what's involved with like our little priority queuing system and these sequencing chunks. But at the end of the day, what's what's the result? The result is just you're going to be a better teacher by using this platform.

28:32 You're going to be more confident. By using this platform you're going to learn how to be more effective more safe with your career as a yoga teacher assuming that. That's what you want to do. Yeah, it just blows me away that it doesn't exist already.

28:44 I know in it at least in a way that I can find and and that's put together in a simple way. I know yoga has been around for so long. People have tried so many times but to have the level of experience that you I and Paul all have and then to sit and put in that work to actually tailor it not to hire other people to do it mean, it's My eyes to be as authentic as possible. So, it's now I get more serious because I'm like, I know how well, this is gonna work, right?

29:11 Well, it's made by yoga teachers for yoga teachers. Who I like that, right? That's what it is. Yeah, sure. It's a supportive Community. It's what we're trying to put together. Absolutely. And it's hot. How would someone do it? Well, honestly, the easiest way to get started by just even checking it out because you just go to going pro yoga.com and you can create an account for free and just explore it. You can see what It's already in a limited capacity and if it's something that you're like damn

29:37 this is pretty cool. I want more of this than there are more options for that as well, but ultimately, you can just do that going pro yoga.com create an account for free. It's already in a limited capacity and if it's something that you're like damn this is pretty cool.

29:38 I want more of this than there are more options for that as well, but ultimately, you can just do that going pro yoga.com create an account for free.