In this episode
Show notes
Knowing when to let go is one of the hardest calls you'll ever make — torn between holding on and surrendering.
This episode explores two emotional pairs that show up during life’s toughest decisions: hope vs. grief and determination vs. surrender. These moments often arise in relationships, jobs, or personal goals—when you're not sure if pushing forward is strength or if letting go is the wiser path.
The discussion reflects on how hope can be uplifting but may also be a mask for fear of grief, while grief, though heavy, often brings relief and clarity. We also learn that determination can turn into denial, and surrender isn't weakness, but an act of deep self-awareness. Drawing from yoga philosophy and neuroscience, the episode encourages tuning into your breath, intuition, and honesty to make these decisions—not from fear, but from presence.
With relatable examples and powerful metaphors, like losing and finding an earbud, this episode helps you reflect on your own life moments. If you’ve ever asked, “Should I keep going or let go?”—this is one you don’t want to miss.
Michael Henri’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelyoga.pt/
Going Pro Yoga’s Instagram: https://www.instagram/com/goingproyoga/
The IN Movement Podcast was formerly the Going Pro Yoga Podcast — and before that, the Yoga Teacher Evolution Podcast and the Rat Race Rebellion Podcast. Same mission, evolved name.
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Good morning and welcome to the podcast. My name is Michael Henry and today we're going to be kicking off a three-part series exploring one of the hardest decisions that we face in our life multiple times probably. And that is do I keep pushing forward or do I push forward versus is it time to let go? So we're going to unpack this theme by diving into some of the emotional dualities that come up in these moments, like hope versus grief, pride versus
humility, and attachment versus freedom. So in this episode, episode #1 we're going to start with two big ones, hope versus grief, which is when we want to believe something will work out, but also feel the pull of letting go. Determination versus surrender, which is how to tell the difference between a healthy persistence, healthy pushing forward, healthy determination, and forcing something that's no longer aligned or basically surrendering. So if you've ever stayed in a
job too long, clung to a relationship, or pushed yourself past your own breaking point, this episode is going to be relevant for you. And if you're not in that moment right now, I'm sure at some point you're going to come across this, let's say, conversation that you're going to have in your head. Before we get started on this week's episode, I'd love to ask for your support on reviewing this podcast. We'd love to share this podcast with as many people throughout the world as a free resource to
learn more about yoga and personal growth. So the best way that you can help support this podcast is by scrolling down to the Star Review, whether you use Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And then just just give us some love. It only takes a few seconds and we truly, truly appreciate it. Otherwise, let's jump into the emotional contrast between hope versus grief.
So hope is something that keeps us going even when things are getting hard. But sometimes we mistake hope for avoidance, holding on too long, because we're afraid of that grief that comes with letting go. So think of a time where you may have been staying in a relationship too long or holding on to something a little bit too long and you weren't really sure when to let go or when to push forward. So this can be many different aspects, but usually in relationships or something like
a job, maybe not wanting to quit, there's always sometimes an element. And this is something that I kind of grew up with is the mentality isn't to not be a quitter, to not give up. So this kind of is very relevant in this conversation because giving up might be perceived as that letting go or that surrendering, which would lead to that grief versus that persistence, that hope, that determination moving forward might actually be something that can achieve more of a positive outcome.
Not always, but that's something that I learned whenever I was younger is to not be a quitter and to always just keep pushing forward. Now that I'm an adults and you know, I have my own thoughts about things in life, I start to realize that there's always a balance between the two.
And that's exactly what we're talking about today. So the emotional nuances between these two concepts, hope versus grief, is that hope feels empowering but also sometimes is delaying the inevitable. Whereas grief is a heavy emotion but often is accompanied by some sort of relief or even clarity afterwards. So there's tension between believing in potential and accepting reality from a perspective of, let's say a yoga cleanse.
So ishvarapranidhana, which is the, I don't want to say it's the last niyama, but it's usually the last one that's spoken about. And that is the surrender to the divine, or let's just say the surrender to your higher self.
And that is that it reminds us that we can only control our actions and not the outcomes. Letting go doesn't mean failure. It's an act of trusting the process. So using savasana as a metaphor, the practice is about effort, but the integration comes from release.
So throughout a yoga practice, sure, we're doing all the the moves, the twists, the turns, the arm balances and all these things. But at the end of the practice, no matter what, we're eventually getting to that point of letting go, that release and that integration through the shavasana. So from a, let's say, a neuroscience perspective or just kind of understanding what's kind of going on in the body with related to these emotions, hope activates the dopamine pathways in the brain and This
is why we feel energized by it. Grief, on the other hand, triggers the limbic system. The limbic system is, let's say, more of your somatic or emotional center, your older part of your brain, which often leads to things like fatigue or brain fog or overwhelming emotional feelings.
And this is again, kind of part of your, let's say, let's say your trigger center or not your trigger center, but maybe more of your like fire alarm in your body that something's off. That's why grief doesn't feel so good.
That's why we probably tend to avoid it. It's difficult for the brain to grieve what has never been realized. So it's difficult for the brain to grieve what has never been realized. So a dream or a potential outcome, which is why it's actually difficult and such a challenging duality between hope versus grief. So the practice here is asking yourself, OK, am I holding on out of hope or out of fear?
So think about a situation in your life or maybe a past situation in your life, or maybe one that you're still currently dealing with that you might have put on the shelf for now. And it's in the procrastination category.
Ask yourself that question, am I holding on out of hope or am I holding on out of fear? And then I suggest maybe journaling about this and thinking about it a bit more. What would I grieve if I let go of this thing and what might I gain? So again, going back to the the nuances of these emotions is that the tension between this hope, the tension between grief is that believing has this potential of some sort of successful outcome.
The hope is there to move us into more of a positive outcome versus letting go. I would say often times is considered more of a not necessarily a weakness, but it's just a harder step to take. It's almost like kind of needing to do the work internally. And actually an example just came up to mind. I think it was yesterday.
It's not my example, but I will use it. And that is a friend of mine who has been visiting here and she was walking down to go to a yoga shala. And I think she took her helmet off her head and her earbuds popped out of her ears. They, one of them fell into the the, the ravine basically, or the little water that was running underneath the gate of the pathway.
And she kind of saw it just kind of get carried away off into wherever it went. And she was like, Oh my God, I got to get it. And Nah, Nah, Nah. And she was kind of looking for it and stuff like that. And then then she got to a point where she's like, I don't know where it is. And she was like, OK, I think I just need to like, let go. So she said she spent a lot of time, a couple hours trying to like, let go of that process of just saying like, OK, I've lost part of or one of my earbuds and
I'll just have to accept that and so be it. And I don't know if you've ever had a story like this, but often times when we let go of things, sometimes those things come back to us. And that is exactly what happened in the story. The next day she came back, walked along the same path to the same yoga shala.
And this day in particular, the the water level had been lower. So just a hotter day or not as much rain. And the, the grate for the path where the water was running was basically dry. And as she was walking and she just happened to look down, she saw her earbud just sitting in the grate. So she basically removed the grate and grabbed her earbud, put it in a, you know, in the sun or whatever she did to dry it off and it was working perfectly fine. And this was a day later.
So this is a simple, yet, you know, relatable example of times when we often times when we're losing something. I would say I can relate to those type of examples. But again, I can go into bigger things as well, like relationships and holding into jobs and these types of things or projects perhaps. But we'll talk about a few more examples later on as we emotionally contrast a little bit more through the words determination and surrendering.
But I think it's really fascinating to think about how hope is more of this positive emotion, where it's like it's moving us towards something that's positive. Like it's good to have hope, but letting go, surrender, even the words surrender in itself might be associated with giving up or losing a battle. I think that's often times what it was used for in the past is if I surrender, I'm waving my white flag. It means I give up.
And then, you know, whatever force is going to take over the land, for example. So then the surrender or the letting go, well, let's just say the grief would be something that would be more on the negative side or something that would be less desired. And I think that's because the accepting of that reality is very challenging at first because of these, let's say, changes that happen in our brain. And we don't get this like dopamine effect. We get more of a fatigue, brain
fog, or kind of an emotional overwhelming effect. However, as we kind of move through that, call it sludge or mud, things do eventually become clear. So by actually letting go, we're moving through that process. It's a little gritty at first, but on the other side of it, there is clarity, there is relief.
So that is the beautiful thing about this contrast is that it's it's not easy to do. It needs to be a conscious choice. So let's kind of just dive a little bit deeper into the other two emotions associated with this, which is determination versus surrender.
I've kind of been talking about it a little bit more, but I do have some more notes to just dive in a bit more on this particular contrast. So determination is the inner fire that keeps us committed to be pushing forward.
But sometimes that same fire turns into stubbornness when we're afraid of what letting go might actually mean. So I'm a Taurus. So sometimes people say that I'm stubborn or I have the say the tendency to be stubborn or determined. And I don't really take that as a negative thing. I just take that as like, OK, cool. I have this quality about me that can be positive or it can be negative.
It just depends on how it's used. And both sides could be, let's say, not so positive and both sides could be very positive. So when we think of the emotional nuances between this determination, surrendering or even calling it stubbornness, the determination feels noble.
It feels like if I can be determined, it has this positive, again, positive nuance, but it can be masking burnout or denial. I'd say denial being a big one. So being so determined or so stubborn in a particular way, it's it's unwilling to accept possible truths or truth.
Surrender is not a weakness like I mentioned before, even though it is often perceived that way. It's more of discernment. And the discernment is more about deciding between two things, and the line between them is often an intuitive choice, not a logical choice. So if we try to think our way through this sometimes, then we're going to end up staying stubborn, staying somewhat in this determined state, masking a possible burnout or masking some sort of possible denial of a
truth and not necessarily being open to the reality, accepting that reality, and then actually surrendering or letting go of that. So in order to kind of tap into that, the intuition is something that needs to be, let's say, honored or brought into the conversation.
When we're thinking about this stubbornness versus surrender from a yogic lens, when we come back to some of these yamas, and yamas, which is often what it's associated, think about tapas. The practice of discipline and purification through heat is essentially for transformation, but only when paired with self-awareness. So yoga teaches us to find the effort within the ease and to know when to back off, even in challenging poses. So yes, pushing forward
discipline and building that fire for transformation is beautiful and effective. But at the same time, too much of that can lead to exact burnout or possibly overwhelm to the point where your system can't handle so much more and there needs to be, let's say, more of a reprieve or recover recovery. So this is more about how do we find the strength and this ease at the same time or this effort and this ease at the same time, Especially when it comes to some
of these decisions in life about pushing forward or versus letting go. Often times there is some sort of middle ground in that letting go or that accepting of possible truths. Whether those truths are real in that moment or not will be determined after the fact at some point. And possibly things might return back to you like an Earpod or something else.
But if we think of asana practice as a metaphor, some days it's powerful to hold a pose because you're like, wow, this is just feels really good today and I feel strong today and my body is really enjoying this. Versus other days. It might actually be wise to come out of that exact same pose early or maybe even skip it entirely because every day is a new day and your body's, you know, of course, going to be responding at different times for different reasons. So hopefully this is kind of
bringing a little bit of understanding of like not even understanding, but more of a reflection. That's kind of the point of these episodes is to kind of think a little bit more of yourself, your life and moments where you might be. Maybe it's stubbornness or maybe it's determination or perhaps it's hope or some sort of emotion in between there that might be more relatable to you, which is kind of moving us in that forward direction, pushing in this in that forward direction, which can very be
very positive. But then also considering like is sometimes working harder, pushing harder or being more determined the choice here, is that the right way to go? Or is there a way that I can technically work smarter or surrender or possibly accept to allow that some some sort of grieving process to, let's say, pivot or change directions versus moving forward or just finding stillness before we actually kind of move forward? Again, taking a pause might
actually have some sort of positive outcome on how we make that decision in future decisions for whatever might be relationship wise, work wise. So practice for you is to ask yourself when you're actually in this moment of, let's say, pushing yourself. So just go to the Austin and practice since it's so simple and relatable.
Is me holding this longer? Is me following the sequence to AT discipline or is it denial of what my body actually needs? Is it in denial of what's realistic for me today? So in this example, some of those somatic cues that we could look for is checking in with your breath.
I mean, this doesn't have to be just an awesome of practice because I often say check in with your breath in regular life because that's an indication of how your nervous system is. But if you notice your breath in a pose or in a particular awesome of practice where you're losing that connection and it's difficult for you to kind of keep up with it, are you actually forcing yourself or restricting yourself?
Because it might be time to actually soften, let go, find some of that ease, some of that surrender, even if it's for a moment, even if it's for a moment to allow a change to happen, a shift in energy to possibly continue through the practice from an awesome perspective.
Or it could be in, let's say, a lifelong, not a lifelong, but a life lesson of whether it be losing earbuds or being in a relationship or maybe even a job where you actually do let go of the relationship or you let go of the job.
And doing that is scary. And you know, there's all the what's going to happen on the other side? And am I going to, you know, meet anyone else? Am I going to find another job? What happens financially? What happens in the future? You know, there's all these little stories that happen. But like every decision that we make, everything that happens in this world is temporary.
And so Even so, these decisions of surrendering and letting go can also be temporary. You can always come back, right? So, for example, I'm, I'm sure some of you have been in a, in a relationship that has ended and possibly might have, you know, started back up again. Maybe it didn't last long again.
But the point is, is it was a temporary letting go. And then there was some sort of, let's say, return and possibly with a job. I mean, maybe not as relatable, but I have a relatable job where I really wanted to let go of a job and they really didn't want to let go of me.
And even though I was persistent and saying I do want to let go, eventually I was like, OK, like I'll stick around a little bit longer. You know, So all of these examples and these words like, OK, I'm trying to break it down, but this is this is a big conversation.
But at the end of the day, it's really just kind of putting ourselves into this practice of reflection of particular moments of, let's just say more of our masculine versus our feminine. That masculine of pushing forward, focusing on determination, that hope, that stubbornness, if you will, or kind of, you know, moving into that surrendering that letting go, acceptance of the grief, acceptance of the reality and the truth. And then just kind of seeing
what happens from there. Moving through that emotional discomfort to find more clarity. And through that clarity of letting go or grief or surrender, maybe the clarity is I want to go back to that thing or I want to continue with that thing. And that's something that I think is often missed in this conversation is that, you know, it's a, it's a temporary thing. It doesn't mean that if you surrender and let go, that you always have to be surrendering
and always have to let go. It just means that in this moment, it's better to do that for, you know, different reasons depending on the the actual situation of the scenario. So OK, we're going to continue to talk about this over the next few episodes, but before we do that, let's kind of do a little bit of integration and reflection on this.
So I want you to kind of just sit down and reflect on these emotional contrasts, that is hope versus grief, determination versus surrender, and then think about that. It's not always clear in the moment, and that's OK. Reflection doesn't require immediate answers, and it requires more honesty, so sometimes you'll need to push and other times you'll need to pause.
And the only way to know which one it is, is by getting really honest with yourself. Not from fear, but from presence. Letting go is not giving up, it's choosing a different form of wisdom. If you found this episode helpful, you won't want to miss next week's episode. So we're going to be diving deeper into another one of these tricky emotional pairs that is pride versus humility, and then within that, the identity or our identity versus our disorientation of self.
So these are the ones that are going to sneak up on us, especially when our self worth is tied to what we do or how we're seen. So make sure to tune in next week and if you like this episode, share it with someone else, maybe have a discussion about it.
Let me know what you think. Let me know what comes up. I'm always curious. You can reach out to me on Instagram. I'll have that in my show notes as well as if you want to send an e-mail and that's your thing podcast at going proyoga.com. Otherwise, I hope you have a beautiful day and you enjoy the rest of your week and we'll speak to you next week. Take care for now.
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