Raising Emotionally Intelligent Kids Through Yoga and Inner Work with Andrea Wieser

0:00 Hey there, before we get started on this week's episode, I would love to ask for your support by reviewing this podcast. We want to share yoga with as many people as possible and this free resource, this podcast is one of the ways that we can do that. And the best way that you can help support us is by giving us a review.

0:16 So if you go to Apple podcast or Spotify or whatever podcast platform you use, Scroll down until you find that star review and then give us some love. Thank you so much, and let's get started with this week's episode. Your children are your biggest teachers and, and it really is the case. Having this awareness and the knowing and the journey I've been on, I know that if I'm getting triggered, it's not because of them, it's not because they do something wrong, it's because of there is

0:48 something inside me which I need to look at which needs to be healed. Welcome to the Going Pro Yoga podcast. If you love yoga as much as I do, then this podcast is for you. We talk all things yoga related for teachers in order to supplement and complement and even support after a 200 hour yoga teacher training. Or if you've never done a training before, this podcast is all about just learning more about yoga in an authentic way. Together with Paul Teodo and

1:17 Byron De Marseille, we put together this podcast to provide you with a free resource to learn more about yoga. Whether you want to share yoga or teach yoga or just practice yoga, this podcast is talking all things yoga related and we're trying to talk from the teachers perspective and also the students perspective to make sure we get a full 360° angle on what yoga is all about and how it's evolved in the modern world. Welcome to our podcast.

1:41 Welcome back to the Going Pro Yoga podcast. Michael here, your hosts and I'm super excited. We have a new guest in the house and we're actually doing this on Zoom, which if you're listening to this through audio, you wouldn't be able to know. But this is the first time we're going to be doing this virtually, which I'm excited because Andrea Weezer is with us today.

2:02 Hi, Andrea, how are you? Hi, Michael. Thank you all for having me. Great. Yeah, I'm really excited. So you're in Hong Kong right now? Right, I am, yeah. I moved here this summer. So after four years in Bali, I took that leap of faith and see what's in this part of the world and yeah, what's going to waiting?

2:23 What's waiting for me here? Yeah, So exactly. Yeah. So you used to be in Bali. And I reached out to Andrea because I was like, I want to have her on the podcast. And then she's like, I moved to Hong Kong and I was like, oh, a bugger.

2:36 So we tried to coordinate things. And either way, we got to doing it on a virtual call. So here we are. So I met Andrea. Oh my God. Probably a couple years ago through a couple mutual friends, and then also in the yoga space, more or less. And actually we did a training together as well. So yeah, we have a little bit of a background, but originally from Germany.

2:59 Is that correct? Switzerland. Switzerland, OK, that's. Kind of almost, but German speaking. German speaking? Well, there's my ignorance right there revealed. So why don't you introduce yourself, give the audience a little bit of idea who you are or where you're from, Switzerland and a little bit of a background, and then yeah, we'll just kind of dive into it. After that, it was pleasure.

3:20 Yeah. So I've been, I mean, life brought me to Asia almost 22 years ago at that time still in my working space as a private banker. And I went to Singapore, did 18 years there, all in the finance world. And actually, it just took the opportunity to resign in 2019 before the pandemic, which was amazing timing because it allowed me through in the pandemic to come to Bali. And that's where I've spent the last four years. Lots of learning there, lots of

3:58 trainings. Meanwhile, I'm an inner guidance coach and practitioner. I've done my yoga teacher training already the 1st 200 hours in Singapore before moving to Bali in an Ayurvedic centre in yoga school. And I also did well during my time in in Bali, my yin rebirthing breathwork training with Santara and I'm I'm a mother. I'm a mother of two.

4:29 I have almost 11 year old boy and almost 16 year old daughter and yeah. And I'm, I'm now, I set up my company in in Hong Kong here with the move to Hong Kong and Revisa coaching and retreats. And I'm actually also in the process of just creating an online course, hacking your biggest parenting triggers. So that's where I am right now.

4:58 Well, I think that's where we're eventually going to get into is the elements of of parenting and kind of infusing some of the, I mean, you mentioned a lot of things, but yoga tools or elements of let's say yoga, since this is about this podcast is mostly about yoga. I mean, yoga is kind of everywhere. But basically, yeah, I'm excited to kind of jump into that parenting thing.

5:18 So just a little bit of a teaser. That's kind of where we're aiming to go with the audience. Cool. So you did your YTT in Singapore. So that was like before 2019. So how long ago approximately? I did it just right, really, before coming to Bali. So it was 2019.

5:36 But initially what had brought me to yoga was actually a small miracle. I, I was very ill at that time with Lyme disease and at the same time my mother was doing not well. And I I was working on myself, on my holistic health already with nutrition.

6:01 And my nutrition is at that time offered AI have honest evening with yoga, nutrition, meditation. And at that point of my life, my meditation was very difficult for me because I was just in my monkey brain. So sitting down and having, you know, trying to tuned this all out was very, very difficult and, and, and getting some distance for it. And, and I went to this evening and at that time, my mother back home in Switzerland was in coma.

6:38 And I remember we, the, the facilitator that evening was a yoga class and then he went into meditation with the Angel light, which also allows you to. So it's a frequency of bright light which is played in the space. And I would just remember I was sitting in the back of that room and all I could thought was mom, please wake up, please wake up.

7:03 So I brought my whole intention on that. And at that time I had no awareness about connections and how things work. And the next morning, she woke up from coma. So for me then was my friend said, oh, you know, he's just opening a yoga studio in your neighbourhood after Chinese New Year.

7:24 And I was like, OK, I really think I need to go and work with this guy. And that was a time. Johnson, John. And yeah, that's when I started to reclaim my physical health as well because joining a group class at that point was not possible for me.

7:41 It would have been too much. Yeah. I was 39 KG and just standing on one leg made me all shaking. So that's where my, yeah, my yoga journey started. The first exposure to it, and I had no idea where that's going to lead me. I mean, for me, it was just regaining my physical health. That's that was my and giving that space to myself because I was still full time working in the banking. I had two small kids.

8:12 So it was really this Thursday morning, eight to 10 was my space where I went to work, I thought just on my physical body, but I quickly, pretty pretty quickly learned that there was much more to that than just the physical venturing each time into new areas and also shamanic work.

8:36 So yeah, that's where it all started and then gave me, yeah, just what made me take the yoga teacher training as well. I just wanted to do it for my own health and my own journey because I realized that there is much more and that it really supported me and I wanted to be able to support myself.

9:02 So that was the very the initial thought came from. Yeah, that's amazing. Wow, what a story. Yes, it's it's it already feels like a different lifetime, so. Right. Sometimes we forget the fights we were fighting back then. Yeah, Basically it was almost a life of fight and flight, which, yeah, I could finally leave behind me. It took me.

9:32 Feels like a long time ago now almost. Madly pardon. Does it feel like a long time ago now? It does now, of course, of course, because there was so much growth, right between right and so much discovering and, and then all the different areas it went. I mean, I had no idea or never would have expected that this one day we're going to have an impact on my family life and how, you know, how I interact with my children, my husband, this.

10:02 Yeah. That it would go into relationships and all that. It was just the beginning. That's so cool. I love it. I have AI have a question that I'm curious about just to see it might throw you off, but we'll see what happens.

10:15 Is there was there any part of you that kind of doubted whether there was a it was a coincidence or that there was or did it? Was it like a deep inner knowing that there was something there, that this was connected? Because I'm just imagining some people might be thinking, oh, it might have been a coincidence, right? Just to kind of like, entertain that thought. No, it was so.

10:37 It was so obvious to me that night with what had happened and that it was just, I just knew. I just knew I had to, I had to work on, I had to go and work with Johnson and I have to go on that path besides other things, which at that point of recovery I was doing from traditional Chinese medicine, Ayurveda.

11:00 Then later, as I said, I did my yoga teacher training with an Ayurveda Dr. So and detoxing was a big part as well of it. So it really brought me into the holistic health which I had no idea of before, you know, I mean, even I wish my my mother would have had known that she was ill for over, yeah, almost 30 years. And it was all just the Western medicine which was very supportive.

11:32 But if she had had some of the tools which I have today, she could really have a better lifestyle and quality of life at that time. And especially what comes with illness is nervous system. It's really constant fight and flight and survival actually. And that really trains you and brings you to a place where, yeah, she probably never felt safe. And yeah, I'm, I'm really, really grateful that I have these tools today.

12:12 And then also being able to pass them on to my children even sometime One, the boy is very receptive. The girl, she's a teenager. So it's all like, very careful what these weird things are here, what my mom is doing. So I have to take it very, very slow and just planting some seeds here and there. Yeah, I can imagine.

12:32 Use other tools you know to yeah bring it into the parenting and showing up as an example as well. You know how you can shift how then it allows them to take shifting decisions as well, right. So it's often annoying for me, yeah.

12:56 So I just. You say annoying. Yeah, it's annoying so. I know knowing knowing. Annoying. Yeah. I just know when there is something I have to do. Yeah, it's a tuition which comes really. Strong. Strong, yeah. Amazing. So I do want to talk about the, the parenting thing for sure, but I'm a little curious mostly because I actually don't even know some of these things about you. So I'm excited to continue to learn a little bit more. You've you've sparked my

13:22 interest after all of this happened and you started to really commit to these new avenues and these teachings and these learnings and these applications, practices, whatever you want to call them. And you know, you've had some shifts and some transformations from the sounds of it.

13:38 Did you add ever any point in time outside of family? Like were you teaching yoga at any time? Like I think we talked about this but I can't remember if you decided to you wanted to teach. Yoga or? Breath work or anything like this?

13:52 I was, I, I just had finished my yoga teacher training in Singapore before I moved to Bali and it was the pandemic and I was really focusing on my own practice. You can. You can call it now selfish or you can call it self love. I call it necessary.

14:14 Unnecessary. Yeah, I got to work on self-care. You can help others. Yes, so I did sometimes, you know, I did when we went away with friends for weekends, I I did teach yoga classes here and there. I mean, just, yeah, some sessions for friends in a very close space, but not in a studio. So that that, yeah, that was not where my focus was. And also with the children, it was really, how can I apply this and what can I take and bring it into my daily life? And I, I have, I have every

14:51 morning a practice. So I do have my own practice. And there is always so much coming up. I've been working on myself, on learning. But I, yeah, I'm the aim is to, to do retreats and then combining. And I did last summer a retreat in Switzerland. So bring it as a combined approach in retreats where I will bring inner guidance journeys and yoga together and use it in that form.

15:27 So that's the aim where I want to bring it out off my home or my house if you want to look at that. Yeah, mention it that way. Yeah, cool. I love it. And also I think it's great that you were working on yourself and you know, you called it selfish and maybe, you know, selfish, self focused.

15:48 I think that's all fine. In fact, yesterday because we're in the middle of a teacher training right now and our philosophy teacher for Jeff, I don't know if you ever had the honor to meeting him. He's been on the podcast a few times. He said something yesterday about, and this is kind of related, but he said he's like, if you want World Peace, he said you work on your own peace and that's how you contribute to World Peace.

16:09 Work on your own peace, your inner peace. And then it and then it will translate that word. So it's kind of the same thing, right? It's like, you know? And I know that it's impacting around me, of course, and then the ripple effects, but it's not that I am. I am teaching yoga regularly and it's not something I probably. Yeah, well, one I have to focus on right now. Yeah, that's.

16:31 Cool. And that's what the other thing that I love is because you know, there's been a few people that I've brought on to the podcast who've done trainings before and they've learned about yoga, the lifestyle and teaching yoga asana. Not like you don't need to do that just because you've done a teacher training, you know what I mean? And the yoga's is way beyond the asanas. And I love that you have so many different tools that you've kind of added to your tool belt, if

16:57 you will, and infuse it in your life in different ways. And I think that's, I think that's inspiring because I think there are some people who think they want to teach yoga or they're not sure and they try and then just like, this isn't for me or I don't know how I feel about this.

17:11 And they think like, that's the only thing that I can do with this skill set. It's like, no, but they're the tools that this the the lessons are transferable to other parts of life. And I think that's really valuable for for people to know is that, you know, you don't have to teach yoga Austin. You can, you can try it out and maybe it's family and but at the end of the day, it's like, you know, what do you want to do with the things that you've learned? You know there's no right or

17:35 wrong answer. Totally. I mean, as I said, I had no intention to teach when I took the training. It was really for myself to, yeah, to bring my health back and, and the connection, right, with the body and the spirit and the, and the minds of the physical and bringing all the layers together.

17:56 And that's actually what I'm doing in my, in my daily practice, which then allows me to show up differently in, in my daily life. And if we're all doing this, then the impact is already huge around us, right? So, and, and it's not, I think it's not for everyone to teach and not everyone is meant to be teach teaching, but I think a yoga teacher training it, it's really a life changer whether you're going to teach afterwards or not, you know, wherever you

18:33 are going to apply it in your life. And even like at that time when I took it, I was still a private banker. So, but yes, it, I would definitely recommend it just for your own toolkit and your lifestyle, Yeah, whatever you're doing out there, it brings you so much more balance and alignment in your daily life.

18:59 Yeah. I imagine a lot of the listeners probably, I mean, I don't know, I can't really Fact Check this, but I imagine most of them have done a teacher training before. So they do understand certain elements of that and they're in different walks of where they are, whether they've just done one or if they've done one years ago or maybe there's a few that haven't done it and they just love yoga and, you know, they might be inspired to do one one day.

19:21 So where I'd like to go next is kind of just thinking about how, you know, whether it be the yoga teacher training or some of the other elements you talked about. So you said you studied at an Ayurvedic school, you went into some yen breath work and things like this. You know, different tools like definitely crossover in different ways with regards to, you know, the yoga world, so to speak, and how that infused into your life, whether it be personally, professionally.

19:48 You said you basically left the banking job, right? And then you obviously being a mother of two, now 11 and 16 year old. So how do you feel like some of those transformations or some of those tools or things that you've learned, like how do they contribute to some of the change over the last like five years for you?

20:08 Or maybe some of the major ones, like what what are the things that stand out for you is like, let's start with you first and then maybe we can talk about moving it towards the children. I mean, of course, something we just really shifted is, is awareness and, and consciousness, right?

20:23 And and also acceptance. So I'm as a mother, I am much more relaxed and and then I used to be. And, you know, I was growing up with a lot of control. And, and I mean, many of us did at that time as well, right, with a father, which was very controlling.

20:51 And and, you know, you had to listen. It had to be done the way he wanted. And I had to, yeah, be under him and, and follow him. And there was I, I had no voice. But if you want to put that well, yeah, I, I had no voice. And I wish I was asked once, what would you do differently today if you became a parent again? And my answer is that I wish I had healed my inner child before, that I could have saved my children so much harm and, and pain because in my early

21:34 years of parenting, I just replicated what what I knew, what what I was told and what I was told was right. And, and many of these things, yeah, I, I could let them go, if you want to put it that way, and find better ways and more loving ways. And yeah, I, I trust that.

22:03 I mean, as we as we also spoke before, everything is the way it happens is right and it's supposed to happen and, and, and it's perfect in the way that it's unfolding. And should I beat myself up now for having, you know, not have had the tools at the beginning of my parenting journey?

22:24 No, I just have to accept. So acceptance has awareness and acceptance were probably the biggest changes for myself and just letting things go, you know, it's OK. And yeah. And allowing them to be themselves, which I was not when I was growing up.

22:49 I was not allowed to be myself. So, and, and all this will probably not have happened with the, with the yoga journey. So it's, they always say your children are your biggest teachers and, and it really is the case. Having this awareness and the knowing and the journey I've been on, I know that if I'm getting triggered, it's not because of them, It's not because they do something wrong, it's because of there's something inside me which I need to look at which needs to be healed.

23:25 So instead of, you know, in the past, I would let it down on them. And you don't have and yeah, and, and, and scolding at them. I mean, we all sometimes as parents, you all, sometimes you lose it and you scream at them and then afterwards you regret. And now immediately the shift is like, I look at myself, Oh, and I get curious.

23:46 Why? Why am I getting triggered now? What is it? And then I really go and I sit down with this and, and I work myself through it and my, my 15 year ones, my 15 year old ones often tells me like, oh mommy, it's not fair. You are much stricter with me than you are with a little brother, you know, and, and I got all your, you know, the hard time in the, in the early years.

24:17 Yes, she did, but I didn't know better. So what can I do? I can just try. We can have the conversations now. We can, we can talk about it. And and then the healing for her comes in from there, you know, with the conversations which we can have, which with my parents, I couldn't, I never could have the conversations. So yeah, it's, it's it's really amazing. And I'm really grateful for that journey, which all started off with yoga and asanas, you know?

24:49 Yeah. It's beautiful. I love it. I love that they have the opportunity to to be around, call it the new you or the the yogafied you. Because, you know, maybe there was another world or another, you know, multiverse or something like this where, you know, you didn't do a teacher training and you know, that scenario played out where you didn't have these tools and, you know, you were strict with, with your now 11 year old boy and, you know, and it was a whole

25:19 different thing. So it's like, I hear you saying things like, oh, you know, I'm feeling or becoming aware of that and, and having a bit of the regret and wishing to some degree, like, Oh, you would have been so nice to have those tools before. But it's like, I love that you said the acceptance and moving on to some degree of like, OK, well, now I have them and now I can use them and let's move forward with that. And you know, this, this is a good place. Like, because without even

25:45 having that awareness that it exists, like you wouldn't, you wouldn't actually be able to have that regret. So it's kind of like a dichotomy to some degree, right? It's like the two, two sides of it. I wouldn't have, I wouldn't have had the guilt, you know?

25:56 Exactly. You get the gift, but then you also get the guilt. It's like you get the double, the double package and you just have to accept and love both and just appreciate both and move forward with it. So that's cool. So then how so you mentioned that particularly for your, the older your daughter, what's, what's her name? Leia.

26:19 Leia. And what's the boy's name? Luciano. Luciano So for Leia, it's a little bit more challenging having she's been older now she's a teenager. She's going through the, you know, the teenager things. And then obviously, you know, figuring out who she is and seeing the shift and changes in her mother, probably when her her brain is more developed to recognize and notice things a little bit more.

26:45 But how do you feel? Let's just maybe start with Luciano. How do you feel like he's kind of handling or noticing possibly the shift or responding to some of the ways in which you parent now versus parenting before I? Mean well, I don't know how much he observes because he was so much younger. And you know, the gift as well is funny. You know, when they were small, I was working full time, right? So I, we were living in Singapore and had nannies around.

27:31 And I must say I also see that as a gift today. At the beginning, I was blaming myself for not having been around them all the time and not having had the time to be present when when they were small. Looking back now, I must say it was a blessing as well because those helpers and Indonesian or Filipino or Sri Lankan nannies we had, they brought in a totally different approach.

28:05 So my children actually, we're lucky to to get both sides of or both sides and other sides of, of educating. And looking back, I was like, oh, I'm glad they didn't have only me, you know, they, they also had these beautiful ladies around them who were really from their hearts as well and giving them a different perspective. So when when I so Luciano, I don't know how much of the shift he has realized on that and he remembers. How does he, how does he respond

28:48 to some of the techniques of parenting now, like sitting down and talking about it and things like that? I mean, I can, I can share an example which was really mind blowing and it showed me the, the level that he is connected.

29:01 And I'm sure this connection is also there because it's, it's, it's there in me. And, and we had about it was about half a year ago and he came home from school and he was going a three door a bit through a rough time and he was told that he, he didn't belong. And in the class he was, he was playing a lot as well with boys, which were a grade B lower.

29:26 He still is very playful boy. You know, he was in a non competitive school at the green school in Bali. So, and then there were a few, there was, there was dynamics in the class around who started telling him, yeah, you don't belong. You don't belong in grade 5.

29:43 And they were giving him a hard time. And and then that day he had a fight with one of his friends. And I got an e-mail from the teacher that he got that he got hit. And then and I wanted to talk about it when he came home from school and he said, no, don't worry, mommy. We worked it out.

30:01 We spoke about it, we made peace and it's all good. I was OK, sure, great. And and then I was making dinner and it was just him and and me and he had his favorite bone broth and which he really likes from a particular place.

30:17 And but then that time I didn't have it, so I was using a different one. And then I had pesto pasta, which is not his favorite. So he came for dinner and he said that one and he was literally saying, Miami, what the fuck is this? And I was like, whoa.

30:34 And the moment it was out and I was like, like, you're not talking to me like what is happening? And then he realized and he run away and he was crying and and he went to my room and he was moving himself through his emotions and I was took a piece of paper and what put down what I'm really angry about is and when he came back, he came back apologizing. Mommy, I'm so sorry.

31:02 And. And I say, OK, sure, I understand. Thank you for apologizing. Let me ask you a question. And I turned the paper around and said, what are you really angry about? And he looked at it and he was like, what I'm really angry about is that I'm not listening to myself, but to others.

31:23 And it just blew me away that this was coming from a 11 year old boy. And yeah, so that's on the level of, yeah, death, which thanks to the connection and the work as the mother I have done, I was able to to get this out from him. And that's how I'm bringing what I have learned and the tools in for him.

31:47 And that was really an eye opening moment, hearing that from her, from an 11 year old. And I was, yeah, just grateful. Grateful for everything. Yeah, it's such a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing that. It's difficult for children to identify emotions, let alone understand them. Yeah.

32:09 Right, You know, and it sounds like he didn't really know what he was feeling to some degree. And yeah, it's just, it's hard. It's hard and there's so many. You know it's a lot of competition and they want to fit in, right?

32:22 You want to fit in. You want to be part of it. You know, you also want to seem like, you know, quote, UN quote, cool, right, And like the the social norm of not, you know, expressing things kind of like expressing anger, expressing, you know, whatever sadness, like those things aren't really accepted, whether it be in, you know, the the playground or the adult playground, right? It's it's usually not a, you know, keeping calm and collected is kind of what people think is

32:51 the way to go. And to some degree, yes, but also I think it's a great. I think it's a great opportunity that he had with your guidance to be able to figure out like, OK, cool. So like, what is it in this safe space at home with me, your mother?

33:07 Like, so that's like, you know, it didn't sound like you kind of pulled it out of him. You just kind of gave him the opportunity for him to to answer it for himself and he took it, which was great. Yeah. He's, you know, often he doesn't want to get friends into trouble. So it's really difficult with him to understand what is really going on sometimes because he doesn't want to talk bad about someone else, he doesn't want someone else get in trouble. So it's really, and then there's

33:31 trust. Oh, you know, you can share with me and then I say, OK, can I share it now with the person or can I not? So after that, there was more coming out afterwards. So it was just, it was the gate opener and everything would have been going on the last 3-4 months was, was coming up to the surface And then, OK, what I'm, what I'm doing with this now, right.

33:51 And then coming there as well to an agreement with him. OK, what do we do with it? Do you, do you want me to talk to your teacher? Do you want to go back, have these conversations by yourself? Do you want to go to the counsellor so that that they really have a voice and they can then have the follow up in the way which feels safe for them, You know, and I recently had something with the relocation here with my daughter as well. It's like, OK, do you do you

34:21 want to talk about it with the counsellor? Do you want me? Do we go together? And really yeah. Respecting them, who they are and looking at them at the same level. Luciano, he's with adults. He can really look and have conversations with adults on the same level.

34:45 He's and I'm, I'm really grateful for that, that, yeah, I was always trying to give him these opportunities. And and my daughter, yeah, she, she did have suppressions when she was younger and she's struggling much more to have an eye to eye conversation with, with.

35:09 Yeah. And not when she knows someone. Well, she can, she can, she comes, she actually comes across as quite confident. There is still a lot underneath there where, and she needs to be ready to, to want to work on that by herself. And that's where you really need to have as a mother and as a practitioner to have the patience to just plant seeds and not trying to take over.

35:34 And, and I'm sure in the past I would have totally have tried to, to take it over, you know, and she's asking for what she needs. So she's asking when she needs space and then giving them the space even though it's hard.

35:48 And when you think they really, really need me in this moment, you know, and it's like, no, I just want to be by myself and really allowing them because they will come. It might take 1/2, it might take three days, but they will come and then they will open up. But if trying to convince and really have it done in your way, it's not working, especially not with a teenager. And that's see shifts which have been happening in which she can see and our our relationship has

36:21 totally shifted over the last, I would say three years. Yeah, since small it was always it was always kind of rebellious. She was always my rebel, so and yeah, the last three years we have come to to alignment. So and it's much deeper than the surface.

36:44 So I know where it's coming from. I'm going back to the work which we do in ourselves, right, and which then totally shifts all the relationships, Mr. Ripple effect we often talk about. Yeah. That's where I, yeah, that's where I'm coming in and where I hope I can help other parents. And that's actually the space I want to show up now, really helping to to bring more awareness and a more conscious parenting.

37:17 And conscious parenting doesn't mean that you don't have boundaries. You still need to set your boundaries, you know, but just in a more loving and respectful way than at least what I used to do in the past and that and what many of us knew when we grew up. So that's.

37:34 Yeah. That's not easy. That's a challenge. Yeah. Planting those seeds, I think they'll see that I, I mean, it's interesting to hear the contrast between your boy and your, your girl about, you know, whether it's been received or how it's being received and how long it takes for things that, and I know these are only 2 examples and I'm sure there's, there's other micro examples and other examples where it didn't maybe kind of unfold and the best ways.

38:03 But I liked what you said about the patient's piece because I, I mean, I'm not a parent, so I can't really, you know, but I'm also an uncle of 12. So I have a lot of nieces and nephews and ages like one to like 18. So, you know, I, I have some experience, you know, I have some experience. But yeah, just seeing and all I see different parenting styles because I see my my brothers and my sisters and my sister in laws and my brother in laws and how they do things and how they approach things and how.

38:33 And I'm always paying attention, right? I'm always paying attention. Like how the child's receiving this, how the, you know, why is the parent speaking in that way? Is it them speaking? Is it a projection? Like what's going on here? So I'm always kind of observing these things. But I think the thing that you said about patients and planting the seed is, is actually really simple yet so powerful because that's what I notice with, you know, basically all of them to some degree.

38:56 It's like you can't control when or if at all if they're going to kind of take that nugget or seed or whatever it is that you may be gift gifted and run with it, right? And some may take it a little bit earlier, some might notice it and recognize it and some might just be like, I don't, you know, they push it away. And I would also say this is probably more my own personal experience is that, and maybe some other people can relate, is that like there were seeds

39:24 planted for me. And I wouldn't say necessarily that my parents were like the most conscious parents from a yogic perspective, but you know, they did their best, right? Just like every parent, they they're just doing their best.

39:35 And like I did in the past, right before having more consciousness. Yeah, exactly. And I know that they did a lot of things that I didn't like. Right. And, you know, there was, you know, I'm working through that and doing my own work.

39:47 But you know, as I became eventually an adult and you know, I started to recognize like, oh, I understand now. I understand why they did those things, even though I didn't really like it or I didn't receive it very well initially.

40:00 So I don't know. I'm, I'm also kind of telling you this like thinking for your daughter, like, you know, she may not be receiving some of these things right now, but I can imagine later on in life she's going to notice because you've you've, you've you've shown up.

40:12 No, you've shown up. And, you know, and sometimes teenagers, they also just don't want to admit. And then they do it secretly, you know, I mean, I have found her. She was going, she had a, a nine months relationship with a boy and and then they broke up beginning of this year and, and one evening I was checking in on her and I was what is she doing? It was just one or two days afterwards and I opened the door to her room and she didn't hear me coming because she, she loves music.

40:41 So she had her headset on and I find her journaling, you know, she it's something she would not necessarily tell me because she knows that something I'm doing and it's important. But you know, I mean, OK, maybe it's a good time to do it now.

40:56 You know, it's so they do it then secretly, which is brilliant. So it works, you know. And when she graduated from middle school, actually her theme, they have to do a passion project. And she was talking about, she was making a project about mental health for teenagers and she was creating a website for teenagers who are not ready to, to speak about their problems because she was not ready in the past.

41:27 And then was sharing of it doesn't help, you know, holding in and and your your problems are important, even though you think they are not. So I could yeah. I was proud, you know, to see her that she chose mindfulness. So it's it's working. It's just.

41:45 That's amazing. Yeah, so cool. It's just, you know, it's there. Yeah, that's great. That's good to know. And that's good to observe and and yes, be yourself, right? And it's not OK. You think it's not yours, It's mine. Sure, it's mine. But just, you know, you can be, you have have your life, right? You don't have to be like me.

42:05 That's also a big thing, right? You don't, Yeah, don't have to be like your parent. You make your own choices And. And Yeah, but take the tools, you know, take the best from your mom and your dad. That's what I always say as well. You know, often children think that they have to choose. You know, I, I remember I was totally on the side with my with my father because I was so desperate to feel his love, right.

42:31 So and I was giving my mother a hard time together with him and was probably sometimes doubling up. What is important now is I always tell my children, you don't have to make a choice. You know, you don't have to choose between dad and mom. Take take the best thing from both of them and what you like, you know, and yes, and it's it's beautiful to see that it's working and all these which is not what could have happened without me starting with yoga.

43:05 Little tick box appreciation for yoga. Totally. Yeah, that's great. I love this. This is very inspiring. Even though I don't have children, it's just great. It's great to see that the way that you're navigating the changes and kind of presenting them and just kind of like watching and allowing things to unfold as they are.

43:29 And one of the last things you said, which is kind of basically letting them be who they are and not letting them or not trying to make them another one of you or another one of their father or something like this. And allowing them to kind of be like, OK, like, you know, within, within some boundary, right? So they're not off the rails, of course, but I love that because I think that's something that is difficult for her parents to do. And I, and I can see that with a

43:53 lot of my siblings is to give them this freedom, which I imagine in Bali, and we, we talked about this before with the Green school, there's a certain amount of freedom that is, that is encouraged even in the institution of education, which is also reinforces, you know, what you were trying to do for them. But it's even more challenging for, you know, let's just say some other parents who might be in a situation where the school's not necessarily giving

44:16 them as much freedom. It's more like you're in a box and this is the box and this is the only thing you can do in this box. And this is how we behave in this box. And so it's, you know, it's hard to come at it from a parenting perspective and bringing in this like, I want you to be free, but then, you know, 678 hours of the day there, that's. Actually what we're doing now, because with our relocation to Hong Kong, so things are different and that's actually what they're moving through now

44:41 and, and observing and realizing and oh, this is different. You know, I have to do certain things which I feel is really coming at a very good timing. And it needs us. It needs it as well, because one point they go out into the life and they need to be able to adopt wherever they chose to go right and and giving them as well.

45:06 Now, after four years in Bali, a bit understanding as well. What what is life outside Bali and how do you navigate actually in your life whatever is expected from you by society, school rules, you know, and and how do I deal with this?

45:27 This is also part and at the same time remaining who I am, right, being true to myself and how can I navigate this balance. So I, I, we really, it was a bit harsh. It was really, it was not a soft landing. It was a hard landing. Yeah, especially for for my daughter. And on top of it, we're really out in the New Territories, so in beautiful nature.

45:54 And I think she was hoping that people and friends in school would be also a bit more outgoing and, you know, venturing into Hong Kong Island on the weekend. And that's not happening. And, and something which I forgot as well. And I've been reminded of the impact of COVID, for example, just when I look and I had these conversations with parents here. Yeah.

46:16 You know, they, they stayed home for two years. And my kids didn't have that. They were, they were always out. So seeing that impact it has and how, yeah, it really she's now pushing them a bit to come out of their shells.

46:34 You know, that's great. And yeah, I'm really curious to continue watching that and see where she finds the balance for herself as well. Because it was it was a bit of a shock. Yeah. And then and then these days, you know, with social media and and they're constantly connected.

46:54 So they get, she gets all the videos from what her friends are doing back in Bali and what the other friend who moved there. And even if it's often not true or it's just small glimpse of their life, right? But for her, it's like, oh, look, this is what it's there. And now I'm here and I have this. And then, and all we do is staying at home, you know, and there's no more going out and, or at least with her friends. And yeah, so I'm really hoping that she's going to find a healthy balance and, and

47:29 learning how do we navigate these two lawyers, right? How can we operate in the system with what we know and who we are and, and still thrive in there. And that's a bit what we are all going through right now as well. And myself the same, you know, coming from this openness of Bali and here you approach people and you can immediately sense the, the barriers, you know, and the distance. And so it's, it's very interesting. It's very interesting.

48:02 Yeah, it's unfortunate what COVID has given us, you know, good and bad. But in some situations, especially some cultures where, you know, the freedom of exploration to some degree, like in Bali, there was a little bit more of like, OK, it's OK to kind of go outside and do these things versus like, you know, bigger cities and certain towns with or even just like countries with bigger restrictions.

48:24 And it's like literally police to the point where you couldn't. So I can imagine the the impact that that would have. But I actually love the fact that she's like kind of, she's being the beacon and kind of going out there and be like, come on, like, let's go, you know, be kids and let's go do stuff and. That's great.

48:39 That's great. And that's a ripple that's, you know, we talked about at the beginning, it's a ripple from you to some degree. Yeah, and you see certain parents who are like, oh, what is now this, this girl, you know, and she could do trying to keep there with her, you know.

48:54 Oh, do we allow her not to go with her? Do we not? I mean, they don't know her well enough yet. They don't know. Yeah, well enough yet. They don't know where I set my boundaries, right. So it's like, oh, she has done all this. And my so Dwellett, it's, it's really, it's super interesting to to observe that dance.

49:11 And yeah, we'll see what it brings us and brings her. But I, I must say, yeah, I love it that she's able to bring them a bit out now and say, hey, look, this is what life is. And and let's go and do this and let's go and do that, Yeah.

49:30 That's kind of I'm so cute. You should be. I'm so curious to know myself how it's going to go. I'm going to probably like connect with you like near the end of the year and be like, so how's it going? What are you things changed? Cool.

49:43 So yeah, maybe you, I'm thinking of just some final thoughts or some, maybe some like little takeaways for someone who's listening, who maybe is a parent who's maybe at the beginning of their yoga journey or they're kind of thinking like, wow, yoga's done this thing for me. And I'm, you know, I'm inspired by this conversation and I have kids or, or I, I'm going to have a kid soon. And I'm kind of thinking to myself like, how do I want to be as a parent?

50:09 And you know, there is there anything that kind of comes to mind? I was like a something you would say to them. Well, if you, if you are in your yoga journey and you know how to always come back to your heart, that's basically what, what it is parenting from your heart rate and, and, and just pause those pauses and which we, which we learn on the journey. And instead of being reactive, be able to pause and then proceed with whatever you are going to say or whatever action you're going to take.

50:53 And this is really meditation and yoga is super supportive for that. And, and sometimes it needs a bit more because those triggers can be, and the trauma in yourself can be so deep that just the awareness is not enough to change it. And that's when then really it's sometimes guidance is needed to, to, to work through these elements. And because that that's was for me, I was like, I have the awareness, but how do I change it? You know, And I, as I said, I

51:37 didn't always go and sit with it. And then I guide myself through it and it's it's miracle sometimes. Then whatever you've been trying to change for so long just dissolves and it's gone once you have healed it, right. So, yeah, don't be shy to to reach out for help. And, and there is a conscious parenting community everywhere. I've seen that as well last year or over the cross of the last two years where a parent of of the school she took the lead to to create a conscious parenting

52:14 group just because she needed it by herself. And she kept struggling and she had read all the books, you know, and and a whole community of 100 people was, was created where parents then talk each other and they meet once a week.

52:30 And having these conversations and looking at tools and looking at what's available and teachings and and yeah, supporting yourself through through the journey and, you know, yeah, getting pregnant, it's just one part of it, you know, for us that already started it difficult and it has been going through the early years, but it's really a blessing. And yeah, just find always back to yourself and to your heart and and ask for support.

53:12 And there is no shame in asking for support. Yeah, because we're all doing our best and we always fail. And, and, and sometimes we fail. Not always, but sometimes we fail. And then really looking at why, why now? Yeah. Why did I lose my peace? So why did I lose my my calm?

53:36 And then asking for help if you can't work through it yourself. Yeah, that's really my recommendation. And just don't give up. It's a journey and and it continues and, but it's beautiful. And watching them and seeing the children changing and shifting along the way, yeah. Thank you.

54:02 Trying to find us something else. It all comes back to the heart. And if you learn how to get back to the heart, yeah. Yeah, I agree. Whatever we do comes from the heart, yeah. And also towards yourself as a parent I would imagine.

54:24 Yeah, yeah. And a lot of. Too hard enough? Towards yourself. Exactly. Forgive yourself and be patient with yourself. And forgiving myself was a big theme for me. And that was back to the whole religious background and who can allow me to forgive?

54:42 Can I forgive myself? Or, you know, was a long time, I didn't understand that concept that I could actually forgive myself and that it's not something which is given by God, which, how was I brought up? So I know you have the power to forgive yourself. Yeah.

55:04 That divinity that lives inside you. Yes, exactly. I know the outside. Yes, and all around. And all around, yeah. That's great. So I love that piece of advice asking for support, being kind, sticking to your heart and you know, coming from that heart space, which often times going back to the practice is what allows us to stay in that heart space as as long as we can. And you know, moving out of it, I think is just everybody, regardless if you're a parent or

55:34 not, is what happens exactly. It goes the same as your partner. I just wanted to say, yeah, because they're often also our triggers, right? Because they're reflecting back, yeah. Yeah. So if someone, I'm curious if you're, if you're open to this, but if someone was curious to like connect with you, maybe wanted to work with you, is inspired by some of the things you've been sharing, what would be the best way? Or is there anything that you could offer that or that's something that you have going on

56:06 or yeah, if somebody wanted to connect with you, what would be the best way to do that? Yeah, I mean, I do. I do coaching online through Zoom or I do it in person. I'm really trying to get a retreat here in Hong Kong up as well so we can retreat. But personal coaching, I have programs 6 sessions or three months, six months and this can be as I mentioned as well, it's not only with your children, it's also with your partner. It reflects on on both and if

56:42 you are somewhere where I am, then we can on location wise, if you can physically meet, we can even turn that from a coaching to the full body experience with supportive touch and an energetic journey to yeah, turning it into a journey, full body journey. That's possible as well.

57:09 So the easiest to reach out is would be throughandrea@andreavisa.com. OK, we'll put that in the show notes. You don't have to spell it out, but I'll get that from you. Or through WhatsApp which I can. Yeah, we'll get that for you. We'll put that in.

57:30 Awesome. Thank you for that. And also I'll just kind of advocate that. I mean, of course, you know, whatever help that we can get is is great, but if possible and timing works out the in person is yeah, I think a lot of people understand the impact that that can have, especially with I'm I'm very familiar with the inner guidance and then the work that you do and knowing that the touch or even least the close proximity work can really help to facilitate movement or release or letting go.

58:00 So if that opportunity comes your way, whether it be in Hong Kong or wherever you're going, I know you're going to be in Bali in October, probably for your own vacation, but you know, you never. Know yeah, I have to bring my kids back they want to see their friends yeah, there's some projects going on there as well yeah yeah, but yeah, I mean just reach out and. And actually I mean the release is also possible through, you know, through Zoom.

58:28 It's just the the the hand support is not there, but it's actually surprising how deep it also goes. Yeah, amazing. Virtual level. Yeah, I mean, this is, we're, we're doing a virtual podcast right now and it's, you know, I can feel it, some of the things you're sharing, I can feel the goosebumps.

58:45 And it was just like, I can feel my heart kind of opening with some of the shares of the children. So it works. It definitely works even though we kind of have probably some mini traumas with Zoom and COVID and all these things, but you know, it's all good.

59:01 Thank you so much, Andrea. I really appreciate you taking the time to join us today and to share some of your experiences and your wisdom and your stories. Thank you Michael for having me and for giving me the opportunity. It was a pleasure, yeah, totally. And I'm glad we made it virtually a resume. Yeah, yeah, me too.

59:19 We didn't have to wait for for the next time when we were on the same island at the same time. Yeah. Exactly. Maybe the next one, if there's the next one, maybe we'll be in person. We'll see. I know you're going to be back. I know.

59:31 I mean, probably every school holiday I'm going to be. So October is I'm there. Christmas is in the planning at least one week. So it's just, it's just home for us, you know? Yeah, for many people. So yeah. And we will always stay connected. Yeah.

59:50 Amazing. Thank you so much and thank you everyone. And of course and thank you everyone for tuning in this week. Again, if you have any questions, we'll put that those details in the. And the show notes to reach out and connect with Andrea. And of course, if you have any questions directed to the podcast or anything like that, you can reach out at podcast@goingproyoga.com.

1:00:10 Otherwise, have a beautiful week and we'll speak to you next week. Take care for now. All right, before you go, let me just tell you about the going proyoga.com platform. So right now you can go to goingproyoga.com and check it out for free for seven days where you can actually learn more about yoga in the ways of alignment, queuing, sequencing, yoga anatomy.

1:00:32 So that if you've done a 200 hour teacher training and you want to continue to learn, practice and grow, this platform is definitely for you. So I definitely suggest checking it out. Going proyoga.com right now. You can try it out for free for seven days.